KC = NYC Tour Guide

So my youngest brother, Lil Bot, visited me in NYC and now a handful of people want me to guide them through the sites and saloons of New York City. Visitors meet me from time to time, so I'm getting the tour guide thing down pretty well. Here are some of the things I pointed out to Lil Bot that I can show and tell you:

"All the bridges in New York are special because they were either the first of their kind or historic. The most photographed bridge after the Golden Gate Bridge is probably The Brooklyn Bridge. It's important because both Godzilla and the monster from Cloverfield attacked people there."

"Here's the Ghostbusters building."

"That's the Empire State Building. King Kong climbed that in the first and last version of the movies. In the '80s version he climbed the World Trade Center."

"The weird-shaped thing is the Flatiron Building. That's where the Daily Bugle is, in the Spider-Man movie. The Daily Bugle isn't a real newspaper though. The Daily Planet is where Superman works, but that's not a real paper either, neither is Metropolis a real city."

"The Chrysler Building is where Spider-Man first fought The Vulture."

"Those houses are called brownstones. That's where Will Smith lives in I Am Legend. That movie sucks by the way. The book is a lot better. So is the Charlton Heston version Omega Man."

While walking around my youngest sibling made a very funny observation after I pointed out some sort of landmark.

Lil Bot interrupted me, "You really know nothing about this city except where fake science fiction crap and Spider-Man fights happened."

Which, in many ways, is totally true. But I also know where to find the best Vietnamese sandwiches and cheap booze.

More from PIC:

Metropolis IL, would like to have a word about its realness with you...

This forum needed shankig up and you've just done that. Great post!

Your arms look as big as my head in this pic. And as I was reading this, I was thinking "He always references every landmark back to a movie or superhero of some sort." But then I got to the bottom and Lil Bot totally stole my idea. I was about to call you out.

Not your typical tour guide, huh? Absolutely amazing, in a bit lame, but entertaining way. Loved it :D

And agreed, I am Legend sucks. Especially the alternative version on the DVD. What the hell were they thinking?

Sarah Juliet's picture

Way to move while I'm in Europe for the semester. Ptshh.

Grasshopper's picture

The Sydney Harbour Bridge is way more famous, one of the big alien ships in Independance Day crashed over it and... ummm, if all the humans suddenly died then it would be the last bridge to fall. True story, i saw it on some show once. Without Will Smith.

Court Sullivan's picture

Of course, you would post this right before you have to retire as tour guide....