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Publication: The Beaverton

Established in 2010, The Beaverton is a daily satire news publication, featuring primarily Canadian satire news. "North America’s trusted source of news." Below are recently added links by PIC members to their comedy writing on The Beaverton.

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Attractive woman doesn’t understand why no one will tell her about Bitcoin

by TJ Dawe | May 14, 2022 | The Beaverton

Cat born in May licks his butthole like a Taurus

by TJ Dawe | May 30, 2022 | The Beaverton

HBO celebrates 15 years of everyone insisting YOU HAVE GOT TO WATCH THE WIRE!

by TJ Dawe | June 4, 2022 | The Beaverton

Half-hearted audience response kills Tinkerbell

by TJ Dawe | June 12, 2022 | The Beaverton

Centrist gazelle pauses to consider cheetah’s point of view

by TJ Dawe | June 23, 2022 | The Beaverton

Winner of local theatre award doomed to keep working in local theatre scene

by TJ Dawe | June 29, 2022 | The Beaverton

Canada Day face paint includes footnote about not being one of those Convoy fucks

by TJ Dawe | July 1, 2022 | The Beaverton

Shakespeare festival to spice things up by casting actors they used before, a lot

by TJ Dawe | August 1, 2022 | The Beaverton

Damp-hand fetishist introduces himself to people coming out of public restrooms

by TJ Dawe | August 7, 2022 | The Beaverton

Dog tied up outside of store for three minutes sets new world record for sadness

by TJ Dawe | August 18, 2022 | The Beaverton

Sleep Country Canada admits there might be reasons to buy a mattress anywhere else

by TJ Dawe | August 24, 2022 | The Beaverton

Plants horrified to sit on bookshelf full of their dead processed cousins

by TJ Dawe | September 28, 2022 | The Beaverton

Hans Zimmer score added to video feed of colonoscopy

by TJ Dawe | October 24, 2022 | The Beaverton

Former Spirit Halloween location haunted by cheap mass-produced ghosts

by TJ Dawe | October 27, 2022 | The Beaverton

Spotify Premium now lets users remove a musician’s dinner from their stomach

by TJ Dawe | November 11, 2022 | The Beaverton

French’s to release bottle of watery pre-mustard squirts

by TJ Dawe | November 10, 2022 | The Beaverton

Slide-whistle virtuoso longs to play Rachmaninoff instead of accompanying prank videos

by TJ Dawe | November 26, 2022 | The Beaverton

YouTube announces it has radicalised its ten millionth child

by TJ Dawe | December 10, 2022 | The Beaverton

Apartment building named “Regency Landing” appoints Maintenance Viscount to fix leaking shitter pipes

by TJ Dawe | December 15, 2022 | The Beaverton

Woman banishes malfunctioning vibrator to Island of Misfit Sex Toys

by TJ Dawe | December 21, 2022 | The Beaverton

Candling session loosens man’s ear wax and extracts three-masted model ship

by TJ Dawe | December 26, 2022 | The Beaverton

Ten best “Best of” lists: Our list

by TJ Dawe | December 29, 2022 | The Beaverton

House guest surprised to discover it’s suddenly a faux-pas to fuck the family whale

by TJ Dawe | December 30, 2022 | The Beaverton

“Can’t complain,” says cashier who’ll get fired if she complains

by TJ Dawe | February 9, 2023 | The Beaverton

Changed O Canada lyrics received with understanding and nuance by nation’s trolls

by TJ Dawe | February 21, 2023 | The Beaverton

New morning radio crew doesn’t play music or talk, just laughs and laughs and laughs

by TJ Dawe | March 13, 2023 | The Beaverton

Ticketmaster to levy service charge for concerts you don’t attend

by TJ Dawe | April 3, 2023 | The Beaverton

Man whose dick you have to suck to get a drink around here finally identified: Marty Williams of Scarborough

by TJ Dawe | April 15, 2023 | The Beaverton

Man saves years of accumulated time by referring to 7-Eleven as “Sev”

by TJ Dawe | May 13, 2023 | The Beaverton

Seven celebrities, inventions and exoplanets you didn’t realise are Canadian

by TJ Dawe | May 20, 2023 | The Beaverton

OPINION: I know nothing on your subject, and I’ll never concede defeat. Debate me!

by TJ Dawe | July 6, 2023 | The Beaverton

New Netflix prompt invites users to log into The Pirate Bay every 31 days

by Janel Comeau | June 14, 2023 | The Beaverton

Government recommends Canadian families save costs this winter by releasing least favourite child into the wilderness

by Janel Comeau | May 3, 2023 | The Beaverton

Millennial in six-figure debt for education dreams of someday being in six-figure debt for house

by Janel Comeau | August 3, 2022 | The Beaverton

Short film nominees comforted that win or lose, their work will live on in hearts of dozens

by TJ Dawe | March 25, 2022 | The Beaverton

End of COVID celebrated by blasting immunocompromised people out of circus cannons

by TJ Dawe | April 18, 2022 | The Beaverton

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Points in Case is a daily literary humor publication featuring enlightening and irreverent comedy from seasoned writers and fresh voices, since 1999.

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