Mike Faerber attends the University of Texas along with the 2005 National Champion Longhorn Football team. He majors in Radio-TV-Film or whatever major you say after he asks, "What’s your major?" Mike rarely skips class and almost hurls every time he takes a shot. In his off time, he gets naked, complains, and dreams of being a comic. Mike is funny. Mike isn’t very funny. Mike saw his first pair of breasts at age 17. At age 19 he finally came to... the realization that boobs are awesome. He also grew a beard in his two year coma, and has formed a search party (made up of delicious snacks) for his mouth. Scientists once tried to extract DNA from his hair, but instead ended up extracting even more hair from his DNA.