Joe Collett
Manchester
Comedian and man living the dream. Based in the UK and taking each day as it comes.
Jokes
When I was a boy I asked my father, “Why do they describe life as a circle?” He turned to me and smiled warmly. “Because it’s pointless, son.”
Staring into the mirror, I say out loud, “You’re such an idiot. What are you doing with your life? Maybe you should just drive yourself into a river, call it a day.” Which is a terrible thing to say, and an even more unsettling thing for the Uber driver to hear.
As an adult, you still have unrealistic dreams and aspirations. When you were a child you’d say, “I want to be an astronaut” to any grown-up who would listen. Now you say, “I want to be happy” to an apathetic pet or coworker who wishes you were both dead.