“I can’t accept this, it’s obviously been used.” “Well yes, but only in January, February, and the first week of March. But then ppffhtt,” I spit.
Jillian Van Hefty is writer and stay-at-home mom (a misnomer because lives at Costco) and raising her kids not to be assholes is the only thing in life she takes seriously. She was selected as Erma Bombeck Writers' Workshop Humor Writer of the Month for March, 2021. She was a winner of Nickie’s Prize for Humor Writing and a finalist in the A Hotel Room of One's Own: The Erma Bombeck | Anna Lefler Humorist-in-Residence Program in 2020. She took honorable mention in the global human interest category of the 2018 Erma Bombeck Writing Competition, and first-place in the ThinkingFunny21 humor essay contest. She lives in small-town Minnesota with her husband, two sons, rescue Corgi and emotional support Keurig.