An enchanting collection of real-life tales from the sexy, fast-paced lifestyle of a bachelorette with a knack for kicking up the dirt.
Allison Parks attended Sonoma State University, where she barely graduated, only by fellating professors and janitorial staff. Alli is currently unemployed, living in a dirt-floor shed behind her church, and able to pass for human as long as she shaves her face two times a day. Allison's father was an elephant poacher in the dense opium fields of west India. He was a lonely, horny, disfigured man with a gimp leg anda nervous tick that caused him to compulsively thrust his pelvis. One evening, with gin in his gut and despair in his heart, he impregnated a sickly hyena named Sprinkles who was too weak to escape his advances. Their evening was filled with cuddling and enchanting promises of a life together, Mr. Parks promised to take her to the vet as soon as the sun rose. Sadly, Sprinkles awoke alone. Six months later (or however long it takes hyenas to gestate) Allison clawed her way out of Sprinkle's womb. The birthing process was too much for Sprinkle's withered old carcass and sadly she passed away soon after that. Being a human/hyena orphan, Allison didn't fit in. At the age of 5 a group of missionaries found her swinging from a tree branch and took her to an orphanage. The other children were cruel. They would point and laugh when Allison scratched her ear with her hind leg. They often forced her to wear a saddle and give rides to the human orphans. She felt sad and alone. At 18 she applied for the Barbra Bush Scholarship for Hairy Faced Young Women, and she won!