College Quotes
Boosey: Picture her as some butter.
Doyle: Butter?
Boosey: What you gotta do is become a knife... but she's one of those girls that you gotta warm up to it... you know what I'm saying... it's going to be a ton easier with a hot knife. So in the end, buy Viagra.
Doyle: Oh yeah dude, good point..... wait... what?
-On buttering her up properly
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School: Flagler College
Class of: 2008
Hometown: Flower Mound, TX
At a Glance:
Michael Curtiss attends Flagler College in St. Augustine, FL. This smart, sexy, smooth, sarcastic, son of a bitch's pure talent as a writer is only overshadowed by his obvious lack of creativity, often associated by his frequent and repeated use of alliteration. He plans to share his stories/semen with eager recipients, as well as his points of view, which only make sense to himself.Bio:
Court Sullivan's bitch.Column:
Up Shit Creek
The uncouth misadventures of an unwarily optimistic Floridian caught paddling with nothing but his hands.
Curtiss for President! 9
, 
Up Shit Creek 0
, The People Who Kick My Ass 3
, 1.0 I Love Mardi Gras 2
, Your Kiss is a Miss 2
, 3.0 The NCAA Division I Football Cruise 12
, 4.0 Friday Night Fights 8
, 3.7 You are a Fucking Idiot 37
, 4.0 Lady of the Lake 3
, Pills on a Plane 19
, 3.7 The Dark Side of Christmas 4
,
Comedy Articles:
Manhunt for the Unannoying Girl
0 comments, 3.2 stars
Finding the right girl is like going on safari for an easy-going lion. Either way you're kidding yourself about being able to grab some tail.
0 comments, 3.2 stars
Finding the right girl is like going on safari for an easy-going lion. Either way you're kidding yourself about being able to grab some tail.
Sluts on a Plane
1 comments, 3.6 stars
Don't panic, the Mile High Strip Club always creates turbulence. Even Samuel L. Jackson would welcome this kind of thing at 10,000 feet.
1 comments, 3.6 stars
Don't panic, the Mile High Strip Club always creates turbulence. Even Samuel L. Jackson would welcome this kind of thing at 10,000 feet.
Safe Shitting Guide for School Toilets
31 comments, 4.4 stars
Touching the toilet seat at school is like the chocolate kiss of death. Fortunately, new techniques like the Pinch and Pull keep you clean.
31 comments, 4.4 stars
Touching the toilet seat at school is like the chocolate kiss of death. Fortunately, new techniques like the Pinch and Pull keep you clean.
The Ping Pong Pile of Shit
39 comments, 3.8 stars
When you break a ping pong table down to its most basic form, the result is a heaping pile of trash. Just ask your neighbor, it's his problem now.
39 comments, 3.8 stars
When you break a ping pong table down to its most basic form, the result is a heaping pile of trash. Just ask your neighbor, it's his problem now.
A Fleeting Pain in the Butt
20 comments, 4.0 stars
When you wake up feeling like there's a wolverine in your stomach, it turns out an enema is your only friend. Beware the oil spill.
20 comments, 4.0 stars
When you wake up feeling like there's a wolverine in your stomach, it turns out an enema is your only friend. Beware the oil spill.
Move Over, Chuck Norris
41 comments, 3.8 stars
You weaseled your way up to pop culture icon status for little more than your roundhouse kick, but now we've found your replacements Chuck.
41 comments, 3.8 stars
You weaseled your way up to pop culture icon status for little more than your roundhouse kick, but now we've found your replacements Chuck.
The Last Doctor Visit You'll Ever Make
58 comments, 3.7 stars
Back pains and difficulty urinating? You might just wanna tough it out...that is, unless you enjoyed your last alien anal probe.
58 comments, 3.7 stars
Back pains and difficulty urinating? You might just wanna tough it out...that is, unless you enjoyed your last alien anal probe.
Cupid's Revenge
9 comments, 4.0 stars
Somewhere Cupid is sipping chai lattes laughing at the ridiculous conundrums lovers face on Valentine's Day. Especially 'The Notebook.'
9 comments, 4.0 stars
Somewhere Cupid is sipping chai lattes laughing at the ridiculous conundrums lovers face on Valentine's Day. Especially 'The Notebook.'
The Bed, Beach and Beyond
20 comments, 3.3 stars
The amount of fun you have on Spring Break in South Padre can effectively be gauged by the amount of bodily fluids left in one bed.
20 comments, 3.3 stars
The amount of fun you have on Spring Break in South Padre can effectively be gauged by the amount of bodily fluids left in one bed.
Almost Raped in Austin
24 comments, 4.4 stars
Ugly strippers, hitchhiking murderers, and stalking rapists give new meaning to the saying,
24 comments, 4.4 stars
Ugly strippers, hitchhiking murderers, and stalking rapists give new meaning to the saying,
