At Least It's Summer

Okay, how much would this suck?

You live in Minnesota. I know, I know. That would suck, right? It’s always cold in Minnesota and the hot women find ways to flee the state before their twenty-first birthdays lest they get all chubby like their mothers. Not only that, but you’ve got to put up with that pseudo-Canadian accent, which is cute for about twenty minutes and then gets downright annoying.

Luckily for you though, you live in Minneapolis-St. Paul, the Twin Cities. You’ve got a basketball team with Kevin Garnett… uh, scratch that one. You’ve got a basketball team. You’ve also got a football team that fields an awesome team about every five years or so. Oh, and you’ve got a baseball team.

Hey, guess what? You’re a baseball fan.

Unfortunately for you though, this means that whenever you want to watch a professional baseball game, you have to go to the Metrodome and watch them play indoors. As someone who lives in Tampa, I can feel your pain. Our stadium sucks, too.

At any rate, yesterday, you decided to go to a baseball game. To get there, because of where you work, you had to take I35 West over the bridge and into the Mississippi River.

Fuck you, eh?

And you thought your life sucked before this bridge collapsed.

Now, you’ve got a messed up car, no way to get to the ballgame, and maybe even some definitely declared dead relatives or friends. Life sucks for you.

And you want answers to one big question.

“Umm, why the fuck did that bridge collapse?”

Fortunately for you, I have an answer.

You see, You... gravity works constantly and people don’t. So people didn’t upkeep the bridge well enough.

Sucks, don’t it?

Oh, and my condolences on your loss, Minneapolis.

But I’m sure Al Jefferson will be a welcome addition to the Grizzlies, or Timberwolves, or whatever they're called.