I'm Not too Bright

I'm an idiot.

Last night, after pounding out my column in less than a half hour (hey, PIC has editors), I finished my laundry and headed up to the Local Pub for a dose of Monday Night Football.

There I witnessed the beginning (and possibly the end) of the Tony Romo era, as well as the second time I've passed up a chance at a chick in the last few weeks.

Now, the first time I passed up a chance at a chick was understandable. I was watching the St. Louis Cardinals in the LDS. I mean, it had to be done. Plus, I was also writing a running diary and didn't want to explain why I kept typing stuff during the action breaks. To keep adding to the excuse plusses here, I should also state that she's one of my neighbors and I kinda like my new place.

But last night? Last night I passed up a chance to get laid because?get this shit?I wanted to make sure I got home and went to bed so I could be well rested at work the next day.

I mean, what kind of a man does that?

(Don't answer that.)

Basically, last night, as I was leaving the Local Pub, a very cute, genuinely built, young girl had too much to drink. And, despite the fact that I'd only spoken a few words to her all night, she decided to grope me on my way out of the bar. She grabbed me in a slow dance pose for a long time, kissed me lightly on the neck (arousing the hell out of me) and ordered me to stay.

And these words came out of my mouth:

"Sorry, it's late and I have to get up for work tomorrow."

(For the record, it was about ten minutes to 1AM. Have I mentioned that I'm an idiot, yet? Because that piece of info is important.)

And her mouth dropped open. I mean, she couldn't believe what I was doing.

She tried half-heartedly to convince me to stay, realized how desperate she looked and took a step back.

Then, I practically ran out of the bar, fighting every urge and instinct in my body. I mean, this was a slam dunk. I know how these nights end, and they usually end just before sunrise.

And I didn't want to feel like shit at work.

God, I'm an idiot.