By Nathan DeGraaf
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About Nathan DeGraaf
Hometown
Tampa, FL by way of St. Louis, MO
School
University of South Florida
At a Glance
Nathan DeGraaf graduated fucking years ago with a BA in Creative Writing from the University of South Florida, which he still lives near because college chicks are the best.
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By Nathan DeGraaf
The Snippets Archive
Listen
What the Hell are Street Smarts?
A Day in the Life of a Crappy Photographer
BJ, Catslut and Army Dude
Nathan "Nate" DeGraaf
In Memory of that One Dude
Intervention Free
Rest in Peace Old Friend
Talking About Breakfast
At Least It's Summer
I'm With You Peta
Brave New Chore
Coney Island of the Gut
Hot Chicks Will Mess You Up
My Favorite Ten Lines
You Can't Enforce Respect
It's Not Like he was Gonna Write Beethoven's Fifth
A Hurricane by any Other Name
Your Money is Lying to You
Gasparilla: I'm a Shitty Photographer
Post 420
A Five Tool Rat
I'd Make a Lousy Dad
Missouri is a Bitch
Lil' Tony's Mortality
Health: The Nate Way
A Conversation with Jake
A Conversation with Mickey
My New Pet
Good Weird Moment in a Little League Tulip Field
We Will Never Forget
Lord Stanley and the Pampered Bitch
Ten Things that Suck About Sleeping Around
Bad Baseball and Presumptuous Rednecks
The Bible: Just a Book
Six Bucks in New York
Chills: The Coolest Dog Ever
Nuclear Wings and Spicy Bombs
Behind the Scenes with the Boss
Bye Kirby
Killer Train of Thought
Jealous Much
Interview with a Bunni
Wholeheartedly Endorsed
The Humanity
What's in a Hurricane Name?
Crash into Familiarity
No Strings
Nate's Life Lessons
Your Tax Dollars at Work
Hardly Playing the Race Card
Steroids: Because Losing Sucks
Welcome to Florida - Shut Up
Your Mom Digs My Shirt
The Zoo: A Memory
Missing Someone
RJ and the Half Drunk Prince
The Cute White Boy
Your Mom's Links
Simmons
Maddox
With Leather
Amir's Blog
FJM
Deadspin
Surf Report
Kissing Suzy Kolber
NOIS
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Happy Memorial Day
Saturday night, I realized that (sin of all sins), I was out of beer. So I left my girlfriend masturbating to internet porn, and went up to the local food store. At this little house of prepackaged foodish like stuff, located behind the counter, was a thin, flat-chested (though exceptionally cute) punk girl, who wore a black shirt bearing the following message, written in white lettering:
“Without challenging social norms, there will never be progress.”
So I said to this young lady, “Does your boyfriend ever use that line to get you to do stuff in bed? Like, if he wants anal, does he ever tell you that your relationship won’t progress if you two don’t challenge social norms?”
Now, everyone in line behind me lost their collective shit. I was high-fived by three total strangers and there was much laughter. But, that wasn’t the coolest part. The coolest part was this: she actually blushed.
I hadn’t seen anyone blush in awhile. I’d almost forgotten that members of our society were even capable of doing it. And, I realized I enjoyed making and watching that clerk blush.
(Side note: I don’t know why I enjoyed it. Mark Twain once said something to the effect of, “the human animal is the only animal that can blush.” Maybe I enjoy human beings expressing how different they are than animals. More likely though, I’m just weird and this is just another stupid quirk of mine.)
So, now I have a new mission in life. My new mission in life is to make as many women blush as humanly possible. You gotta have goals.
And yes, I will keep you updated on the results of this mission, tentatively titled, “Operation Red Face.”
Wish me luck.
13 Comments
stop bragging
Anonymous, honestly I didn't realize that I was.
Has asking questions to strangers ever resulted in you getting your ass kicked? Not by skinny punk chicks hopefully, but just checking on how your "openness" generally goes over in public places. I suppose it must be a matter of gauging your audience?
I believe the quote is "Humans are the only animals can blush, or that need to."
Were you serious about your girlfriend watching porn to keep her busy? That has to be awesome.
lots of girls watch porn to keep themselves busy.
Aha, the secrets finally out to the public, girls do enjoy porn. That's at least one of the best things you could ever overhear in a line, I mean I've heard some greats, but if I'd have heard that it'd probably be the topic for some drunken conversation this very second. Instead we're just throwing rotten fruit at golf carts, I hate those things.
Of course girls watch porn. Didn't realize it was a huge secret.
I think most girls like porn. They are just afraid to admit it because of the stigma.
Fuck that!! I love porn! I'll admit it.
Admitting things while remaining anonymous kind of defeats the purpose, I think.
hahahha you're right allen!
(p.s. I'm a diff. anonymous)
to answer your intial questions jugss, Yes, Nate has come seriously close to getting his ass kicked by "saying what he is thinking" at that moment. Suprisingly about half of the people that have wanted to subsequently kick his ass were, or still are, very good friends of Nate's (he did get his ass kicked in High School by a skinny Tennis player ahahahahaha, that was great =P).
Thanks, tylerstl. Hearing that Nathan got his ass kicked by a skinny tennis player, whether or not it's even true, made my day. Bwahahahaha.
That's kinda mean of you. I hate it when a guy makes me blush b/c of something he says (& don't think I am alone on this). Usually it just means I'm uncomfortable - though not necessarily the feelings of Punk Girl. Maybe it's still fun for you knowing that... maybe it's more fun, actually.
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