Maintaining the Breakup Pool
I’m dead sure that my girlfriend, Amy is gonna read this about three times. You see, it’s about her. And she loves that. Rarely does she pay close attention to anything I write if she’s not in it. After only a few months of dating her, I have come to the conclusion that she is very weird. And there’s nothing really wrong with that.
When we first started dating, she took a lot of the comments I get a little too seriously and threatened random women/girls in my comment boxes. She’s showing restraint now and I’m proud. Real life women still get the angry eye from her. But whatever. At least she’s distinguishing reality from the internet.
(Side note: speaking of the internet, apparently, My Space should change it’s name to The Plagiarists' Corner. So I’m taking this moment to state the following to any would be plagiarists out there: “Plagiarists, you have something inside you that means something. Therefore, you can write on your own and express yourself just fine. Plagiarists are thieves and liars. You don’t need to resort to that. I understand that the first thing we do when we like something is covet it, but that’s no reason to steal from anyone. And furthermore, it pisses me off. So please, stop. I’ll get off my soap box now.)
At any rate, Amy tried to watch another baseball game with me a few nights ago (hey babe, if you’re reading this, I TiVo’d the Brewers/Cards game, so we can watch that tonight. I know you’re thrilled. No need to thank me) and she lasted six innings. True, she displayed all the focus of a Ridlin-addicted nine year old, but at least she lasted six frames. So I’m proud of her.
If you don’t know by now, there is currently a pool going on in which you can guess when Amy will break up with me as a result of my addiction to watching the St, Louis Cardinals. The winner gets to guest write a column for me (hey, I’ll start giving out money when I get some. This prize is all I got). Naturally, you can also vote that we won’t break up. Anyway, here’s how the pool looks so far.
The “When will Amy Break up with Nathan” Pool
Court…April 21
Tony…May 18
Bunni…June 4th
Gaudio…June 11
Dan D…June 22nd
Big Mike…June 23
Freeze…July 3
Amy…July 4
Ryan…July 18 
Phil in Chicago…July 27
Ashley…August 3
Faith…August 11
Kev from LA…August 26
Rob from Trenton…Sept. 24
Chad…October 7
Ian…October 8
Curtiss…Won’t break up
Ryan…Won’t break up
Tyler…Won’t break up
Chase…Won’t break up
Make your picks now. No picks will be honored after April 30th.







15 Comments
a) As a columnist, I know I'm ineligible for the prize
b) I don't even really know you, and I certainly don't know Amy
c) Nevertheless, from what you've written, I think this relationship could go the distance. I'm going to guess "Won't break up".
Keep hope alive.
Since Court has already set a date of April 21, shouldn't the cutoff date be earlier? Say April 20th?
Anyway, I'm going to put my two cents in and say June 30, though I hope I'm wrong because she seems like a cool girl.
Wait, this only goes through this season, correct?
And another thing, if it does only go through one season and you and Amy make it, how many people get to write a guest column for you?
I guess they could each put a paragraph into it...
If I say 'won't break up' can I then modify my date for a time during football season?
For the record, I only threatened one person. And I was pms-ing.
im gonna go with september 13th
If it's a tie, every winner submits and me, court and whatever columnists want to weigh in, pick the winner.
hey brother, if it's lasted this long she could be the one.... we can get her used to baseball and how important it is to watch and care about Cards games - i will help out if you need me.
Peace
April 30th
s'my day
Nathan:
I like Ryan's idea better. Theres nothing so stupid as "winning" a chance to win something.
July 24, though I just want a shot at a column, not for you two to split. I've got a tiny MySpace, and you have been mentioned; Do I get a free pass if I always give you credit & usually link to the column I'm mentioning? I don't think it counts as plagarism... though those bits I flat out stole probably do...
Tony (from Peg City)
I dunno, Nate. I think Amy might be even more stubborn than you. Hell, by midseason, she's gonna have you watching "Trading Spaces" with her during the Cardinals games.
Anyway, if she's managed to put up with you for this long, I think even your love affair with the Cards won't manage to drive her away. I vote no breakup.
Lulu, this is for the baseball season only. She's a football fan, and probably won't get pissed unless I lose a lot of money.
Thanks, Brother Tom.
Everyone's days have been noted.
Oh, and Amy, when you get your own breakup pool, you can make up the rules. All ties are settled by a write off. If they're good though, I guess I could reserve the right to give away more than one column. If they're really good, I may not have to write for a month.
Oh, and Amy appreciates all the support.
If she returned once, that was against all odds. In the words of Joe Buck "thats a winner".
She's a FOOTBALL FAN?
I go for not breaking up based on that alone.
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