College Quotes
"What happened to her face? Did she sleep on it wrong?"
-Elliott, on a girl in the dorm
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About Mike Faerber
Hometown
Austin
School
University of Texas - Austin
At a Glance
Mike Faerber attends the University of Texas along with the 2005 National Champion Longhorn Football team. He majors in Radio-TV-Film or whatever major you say after he asks, "What’s your major?" Mike rarely skips class and almost hurls every time he takes a shot. In his off time, he gets naked, complains, and dreams of being a comic. Mike is funny. Mike isn’t very funny.
Recent Comments
Watch Me Grow!
By Mike Faerber | Jul 13, 2006
| Comments (3) | Submit an article |
Ah yes, it's that time again. Update-opia. I went to a family reunion and had to do a little TRIMMY TRIMMY!
Is it just me or are beards about to be a major sweeping fashion trend? Everywhere I look it seems some new indie band or old rock band from the 70's has a kickin' beard. Before you know it EVERYONE will have one. Oh wait, not all guys can.
THE VILLIAN!
Style- Long Hair, Short beard.
History- The Villian derives its name from about five minutes ago when I needed a name for my current beard status. But I think it fits, and if you disagree, go watch Die Hard again.
Whether it's diabolical schemes against the state or nasty, overly sarcastic quips from the ass on your engineering homework service forum,* this look means business... or engineering.
Is it the twisted locks of hair, splayed in every direction like clawing hands of doomed souls that make this look so devious? Or is it the steel-hardened scruff, grinding off a flash of sparks every time it grazes a bullet or woman's inner thigh? Nevertheless you have been warned.
There is no shaving- ahem- saving you from The Villian. Once in his grasp, you will find yourself strapped oh so desperately (in torn elegance that almost reveals your cooch) to some ridiculously noisy-beeping countdown nuclear warhead. While your shrieks and amazonian tresses distract your stalwart savior into getting clanged over the head with some convenient piece of debris, ultimately he will emerge much-scathed to stop the clock, and give it to you rough.
Maybe there is hope after all.
Nicknames- The Silent Bob, The Poet, The Jesus, The Seriously You Look Like Jesus When Are You Getting A Haircut
Ups- Life is all about the juxtaposition. Wow, I just impressed myself, that sounds like a profound truth if I ever heard one. When things are alike and you make them fit, great. But when opposites such as LONG AND SHORT are combined harmoniously, that's what we call fucking Art, bitch.
Downs- It kinda looks like an accident... or a douchebag.
*You know the guy, he somehow still looks 12 even with that patchy beard of his. It doesn't help that his use of sarcasm is on the same level of a pre-teen who just learned the word "NOT!" If humor is really a defense mechanism, he is that guy at the beach with the sunscreen, coating it on thick so he doesn't get burned. "Geez, I always squirt too much and there's no way to rub it in and make it not blatantly obvious." Not to mention he ACTUALLY is that guy at the beach. If his long, skanky ponytail that smells like weed, actually was weed, he'd smoke it because he's a dirty, weedy 12 year old who tries to make my awesome villian look gay.
Is it just me or are beards about to be a major sweeping fashion trend? Everywhere I look it seems some new indie band or old rock band from the 70's has a kickin' beard. Before you know it EVERYONE will have one. Oh wait, not all guys can.
THE VILLIAN!
Style- Long Hair, Short beard.
History- The Villian derives its name from about five minutes ago when I needed a name for my current beard status. But I think it fits, and if you disagree, go watch Die Hard again.
Whether it's diabolical schemes against the state or nasty, overly sarcastic quips from the ass on your engineering homework service forum,* this look means business... or engineering.
Is it the twisted locks of hair, splayed in every direction like clawing hands of doomed souls that make this look so devious? Or is it the steel-hardened scruff, grinding off a flash of sparks every time it grazes a bullet or woman's inner thigh? Nevertheless you have been warned.
There is no shaving- ahem- saving you from The Villian. Once in his grasp, you will find yourself strapped oh so desperately (in torn elegance that almost reveals your cooch) to some ridiculously noisy-beeping countdown nuclear warhead. While your shrieks and amazonian tresses distract your stalwart savior into getting clanged over the head with some convenient piece of debris, ultimately he will emerge much-scathed to stop the clock, and give it to you rough.
Maybe there is hope after all.
Nicknames- The Silent Bob, The Poet, The Jesus, The Seriously You Look Like Jesus When Are You Getting A Haircut
Ups- Life is all about the juxtaposition. Wow, I just impressed myself, that sounds like a profound truth if I ever heard one. When things are alike and you make them fit, great. But when opposites such as LONG AND SHORT are combined harmoniously, that's what we call fucking Art, bitch.
Downs- It kinda looks like an accident... or a douchebag.
*You know the guy, he somehow still looks 12 even with that patchy beard of his. It doesn't help that his use of sarcasm is on the same level of a pre-teen who just learned the word "NOT!" If humor is really a defense mechanism, he is that guy at the beach with the sunscreen, coating it on thick so he doesn't get burned. "Geez, I always squirt too much and there's no way to rub it in and make it not blatantly obvious." Not to mention he ACTUALLY is that guy at the beach. If his long, skanky ponytail that smells like weed, actually was weed, he'd smoke it because he's a dirty, weedy 12 year old who tries to make my awesome villian look gay.
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