The Bald and the Beautiful :: Ask Nicole (College Advice)

Dear Nicole,



You've named some awesome sounding -philias in the past. Do you know any fun phobias I can develop? Thanks!



-Ev

 

Dear Ev,



Great question! I can see that you're truly dedicated to the contraction of obscure, emotionally-crippling disorders. And I respect that. Here are a few phobias,
in no particular order. Except alphabetical.



Alektorophobia: Fear of chickens

Arachibutyrophobia: Fear of peanut butter sticking to the roof of the mouth

Bufonophobia: Fear of toads

Caligynephobia: Fear of beautiful women

Cnidophobia: Fear of string

Coulrophobia: Fear of clowns

Defecaloesiophobia: Fear of painful bowels movements

Geniophobia: Fear of chins

Hellenologophobia: Fear of Greek terms or complex scientific terminology.

Papaphobia: Fear of the Pope

Proctophobia: Fear of rectums

Pteronophobia: Fear of being tickled by feathers

Pupaphobia: Fear of puppets

Selenophobia: Fear of the moon

Sinistrophobia: Fear of things to the left



Sincerely,

Nicole

 
 
Dear Nicole,



I'm sick of the "bald" look. That is, I'm tired of shaving my pubic area entirely bald just to please my boyfriend. Why did this fad come into vogue?



-Tara

 
Dear Tara,



This trend is popular with pedophiles, guys who hate to floss, baseball fans who want their women to look like Jay Buhner "where it counts", and of course, the
good people at Imperial Touch Razor Bump Solution. And...pretty
much every other guy. If you hate shaving, try dating a guy with peladophobia (fear of bald people).



Sincerely,

Nicole

 

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Dear Nicole,



I'm bored.



-Lindsey

 
Dear Lindsey,



Well, you could make some crank phone calls. I do that sometimes. But they're not very funny. Like, I call Costco and ask what time the pharmacy closes.



Sincerely,

Nicole