|
"Hold the Bacon"
>>> Ask Nicole
By staff writer
Nicole McKaig
December 31, 2003
|
|
|
Dear Nicole,
There's this guy I liked for about three years, and I still kind of like
him. He asked me out online, but I didn't give him an answer because I
wasn't sure if he was messing with my head. He kept saying that if he
takes me out, he has to get some on the first date. Do you think he just
wants to use me?
Princess Ashley
|
|
Dear Ashley,
More than likely, yes. Remember, it's your body and you don't have to do
anything you don't want to! Just because this guy buys you dinner
doesn't mean you owe him any sexual favors. The only exception is if you
order something extra for your burger, like guacamole or bacon. Then you
pretty much have to do him.
Sincerely,
Nicole
|
|
Dear Nicole,
There are three girls who would love to be with me but I can only choose
one. After I choose which girl, the other two won't talk to me ever
again. One girl is hot as hell but kinda dumb and shallow and not too
exciting in bed (but looks incredible naked). The second girl is cute
and funny and smart, but she has thankles, and works out a lot to stay
in shape, so I can tell that down the road she will put on them pounds.
The third girl is not as pretty but she makes me laugh nonstop and has
no gag reflex. Which girl should I be with?
Noble One
|
|
I think I'm going to be sick. Let's move on.
|
Dear Nicole,
My girl and I love each other with all our hearts, but her
family disapproves of me and my family. They say they'll
disown her if she continues seeing me. I don't want her to
lose contact with her family, but then I would hate losing
her too. What did I do wrong for her family to hate me so
much? Nicole, what should my girl and I do?
Kalvin
|
Dear Kalvin,
With all the fear and turmoil at home and abroad, many people
have found that blind hatred is an excellent emotional
outlet. Now that ancient Egypt is free of King Akhenaten's
heretical regime, Lenin is safely encased in glass, Saddam
is locked up, and Irish lynchings have become unfashionable,
the general public, including your girlfriend's family, must
seek out new avenues of hatred. Try not to take it
personally.
Sincerely,
Nicole
|
|
Got something on your mind? Ask Nicole here:
|
|
|
|
| Nicole McKaigearned a BA in Psychology from Seattle Pacific University and recently graduated from Cal State University with an MS in Criminology. As a girl, she was raised by an enchanting gaggle of friendly woodland creatures in the foothills of the Pacific Northwest, where she frolicked in lush green meadows by day and nested in a cozy thicket by night. She currently exists in post-grad limbo near Seattle, where she survives by scavenging for bits of bread overlooked by native waterfowl. Please submit your innermost problems and superficial worries for Nicole to solve! |
|
RSS Feed
|
|
|
