How do they figure out where to put those deer crossing signs
on the road? Does anyone even pay attention to them?? It's
not like when I see one I actually slow down or anything. I
mean, no offense, I like your column and all but I'm not
losing any speed over you or any other deer stupid enough to
play in the street.
Sincerely,
Wreckless in Minnesota
Dear Wreckless in Minnesota,
Glad you enjoy my column!
Minnesota law states that the installation of deer crossing
signs is warranted if five deer car-related accidents have
occurred in a twelve month period. If it were up to me, the
government would be required to paint deer crosswalks, but
alas, I am only one deer in a white man's world.
Studies show that you are no different from most humans
distracted by an increasing number of visual roadside
stimuli. What most people don't know though, is that
road-hopping is a popular sport among the general deer
population. The common road sign you are referring to is
actually a silhouette of Randall Woods (aka "Bucktooth
Blaze), the greatest deer to ever play the sport. As you can
see, the sign was modeled after American football's Heisman
Trophy. While the sign
is considered a mark of respect for an area of the road
where humans have unknowingly acknowledged the playing of
the sport, it also effectively makes the marked stretch of
road out of bounds. It has also led humans to connect the
signs with safety!
Thanks for keeping road-hopping challenging and exciting!
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Court (the deer) is a whitetail big-buck from Charleston, WV, where he works part-time as a rawhide consultant at Danskin Activewear. Court is accepting of the fact that humans will always be actively engaged in sport-hunting. He provides straightforward, yet ironically helpful information to humans who otherwise don't deserve a polite response. Feel free to email him with your hunt and game questions, as well as general outdoors advice. Please be as blunt as possible.
Deer
Court,
