I know what you’re thinking: “A lady blogger? On PIC?? Don’t you belong in some kitchen somewhere?” Well, no. My name is Sarah Romeo, and cooking/pregnancy aren’t really my things right now. Plus, I don’t look good in a floral apron. Yet, I can’t promise you that I won’t use my writing to nag you about making your own sandwich from time to time; it’s way too early to rule out that possibility.
What I can promise you is that this blog will contain only one recipe, and I came up with it myself! In one medium-sized Word Document, mix the following ingredients:
- Equal parts creativity and mindfuckery
- Half a cup of pure evil
- 1 Tablespoon of sarcasm
- A dash of arrogant diction (Substitute with profanity for more zest)
- A handful of inappropriate pictures for coloring
- 2 Boobs
- If desired, fold in occasional feminist rants and/or intellectual hypotheses to keep from turning stale
Blend until sentences are coherent. Don’t worry if they don’t make sense; they still might taste good in the end. If flavor is bland, ingest 1 full bottle of Tequila upon serving. Trust me, with that one additional ingredient, you will love the result of every piece I write. *Hiccup.*
Let absorb in mind for up to five minutes after reading; humor should occur. If resulting thought process lasts more than five minutes, festering in your cranium and burning a gaping hole in the moral fabric of your being, you should contact your physician right away. This would mean I’ve done my job successfully. Oh, and don’t worry if any erections you may develop in the reading of this blog last longer than normal, that’s totally supposed to happen.
So now that you understand the always-fresh ingredients that go into my writing (with love), I hope you come back for a taste frequently. I’ve always got something cooking. That’s not to say it won’t taste like dog shit and make you sick for days. But that aspect is so much more fun for me.
Bon appetit.