Oh, hey, how have you been? Funny running into you here.

Oh, I've been alright…you know…just…..things…who…I…sometimes.

My dick on the other hand…he's not doing so well. The little bugger's just been mopin' around. I'm starting to get worried about him. He hasn't had any contact with the outside world in days. The only time he comes out is to go to the bathroom.

I try talking to him, but he just sits there. Just lying there.

I try to cheer him up. I say "come on, Dick, get up. Come on. Come on. Goddamnit, don't fucking do this to me. Don't you fucking – you motherfucker."

Too much information?

Well look at you, Miss I Go Around Breaking Dick's Hearts. You think you're sooooooooo fucking innocent, don't you? My dick cries constantly. A powerful stream of tears. Doesn't that mean anything to you? Huh?

I'll say "come on, Dick, this is really good facefucking porn, I pay a lot of money every month to see these girls get facefucked. Facefucking doesn't grow on trees, okay?" But nothing. No response. He just kinda stares off into the distance with his one eye.

Oh, you have to do something? Oh, okay, see you later.

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