College Quotes
"Dating is the most useless and rotten attempt by completely worthless individuals to establish a faulty image for somebody they wish to impress in a desperate, neurotic need for attention. Unfortunately, these phony people actually impress each other and end up producing ugly, noisy, gargoyle-like children. The genetic deformities inherent in the hideous smiles of their children only indicate the fact that they, like their parents, have NO FUTURES."
-Wesley, on the usefulness of dating
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I, Points in Case Columnist and reserved diplomat, Nathan DeGraaf, live in Tampa and write about whatever I want. One day, someone may actually pay me to babble on endlessly about my meaningless existence. Until then, this will have to do.
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About Nathan DeGraaf
Hometown
Tampa, FL by way of St. Louis, MO
School
University of South Florida
At a Glance
Nathan DeGraaf graduated fucking years ago with a BA in Creative Writing from the University of South Florida, which he still lives near because college chicks are the best.
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A Much Deserved Vacation
Dear readers of The (formerly) Nate Way:
I am going on vacation from this blog for a brief period of time. I need a break. I will come back when this is fun again. Or not. My columns should continue through the summer but they may not. My plan is to come back and write again when I am off of probation and the world reverts back to normal (well, my kind of normal, anyway). As it is now, I am just not enjoying myself.
My reasons for this hiatus are threefold:
1. I have been working the same shtick for three years and it’s just not who I am anymore.
2. It is not in my best interest to write about my life for a while (probation and all that) and without me as my main subject, I’m just another hack working the same over-used college humor angles as everyone else out there and I can’t live with that. If I ain’t doing something new and unusual, I might as well be writing Operation Procedure Manuals or Feasibility Studies.
3. After more than three years, I kind of feel that the site has moved on. Either I’ve outgrown it or it’s outgrown me. Either way, it’s not near as much fun here as it used to be.
Please keep in mind that this is not goodbye. Much like that one general dude, I will return. Hopefully with a fresh perspective on life and the kind of comedy that can be perceived as “funny.”
Wish me luck!
Please.
Okay, fine. Fuck you then.
And see you in the fall.
Hopefully.
Oh, and if you really want to read my unique brand of comedy, please purchase my book, The Snippets and the Impure Tour, available from Lulu.com.
Please.
Okay, fine. Fuck you then.
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Nothing gold can stay.
PS, I already read your book, when it was 'Inpure'. So fuck you too.
i feel hoodwinked....you're a greedy bastard, taking the joy out of my like. fuck you nate.
Guys calm down. He's just taking a vacation. And I think he's right. He's keeping his life a secret and the writing's getting stale.
I amxioulsy await your return, sir.
Good luck Nate.
Oh, by the way, be freaking happy that I spent almost forty dollars on a certain book that's not even a hard cover.
Really though, good luck.
I wish you the best of luck. Hope all goes well and things start to look up for you very soon. You'll be missed.
Why? Why are you doing this to us? Was it something I said? I thought we were going to work. I can change, I promise.
I anxiously await your return. And if you never come back, find some way of letting us know where we can find whatever else you write. It always picks up my day. Good luck and enjoy your vacation.
we'll all miss you nate
you're columns are my favorite!
see you soon!
enjoy the summer off from writing!
Goddammit Nate. Honestly, you're the only reason why I even come to this site since 2.0 launched...something about the redesign turned me off.
Anyway. The book was fantastic. I can't wait for more of your writing to appear, and most importantly, I just have to thank you for helping me discover Kurt Vonnegut.
So thanks. I can't wait for more.
:tear: Can we at least get the occasional running diary of a baseball game or something? How about one during a hurricane? Just sayin...
Yes, you have already written so many masterpieces that you really need to let the other writers catch up.
Go and enjoy your vacation, but think of PIC regularly. And if you're not back when the NFL season starts, relaxed, refreshed and inspired, then fuck you too.
Honestly, I feel betrayed. I am sure that myself, along with many others, only come to PIC continuously to read your writings. What the hell am I going to do during work when I get some time to kill? And based on your explanation, I would sure be ecstatic if "someone" started a new website/blog that was "anonymous" and about living life in Tampa, going to bars, and being on probation...and "accidently" left the link somewhere the loyal fans of The Nate Way could find it. Think about it.
Also, once again, I thoroughly enjoyed your book. And even though I did shell out the extra dough for a non-hard cover book, I just don't think I would of enjoyed it as much if I had to read it off of a computer screen - call me old school like that, I guess.
Also, I didn't expect anything too much from Mulder - but 1 inning?!? You got to be f'ing kidding me! Thank Pujols we gave up those scrubs to get him. I heard that Daric Barton and Danny Haren are overrated anyway. F'ing Mulder.
Nathan, you've been one of the main forces bringing me back to PIC every day, and I think it's a shame that you are leaving..
On the other hand, you need to make your own decisions, and obviously this is what's better in your life right now.
I know how 'breaks' end, and I hope against hope that we'll see you again soon here on PIC.
Also, please forgive me for making the gayest post ever. lol
Nate... NateyNateyNate...
Dude don't do it. I've been coming here since pic was just a tiny url. NONE of the other writers can touch you. What am I gonna do now? Read Nelson?? That hack Gaudio? ("waaa waaa my big dick waaa waaa")
At the very least, PLEASE give me my fix and keep the snippets coming. Some of us miss the days of spending a lot of time in a bar.
Damn. You'll be missed, buddy. Let's just say you're on sabbatical, okay?
Nate... honestly it is the one thing that I look forward to at my desk everyday.
You will be missed...for the time being.
It's too bad. I get a little tingly when you write about your sexual exploits. mmmmm, if only I lived in Tampa...
That's incredibly depressing. You've been the last thing worth reading on this site, what with everyone else posting poorly written narratives and Gaudio stuck on poetry (seriously, haven't bothered reading the guy's work in nearly a year... or maybe two... I don't know, stopped paying attention since it stopped being funny). Good luck with whatever it is you need having luck for. Come back soon and be humorous on a site (lately) devoted to bad stunt comedy writing.
You know I'm going to continue to check PIC for new stuff even though you posted this. I guess I'll just have to get by on the quotes for now...
Have fun, relax, and we all hope you come back.
You're my favorite writer on here and I'll be buying your book as soon as I have the money.
Thanks Nate.
You'll be sorely missed, Nate. I've been reading your stuff since you first started here.
Will you be keeping up with your Investor's Coroner side project?
Good luck in your probation - it's a bitch, but you'll get through. Just thank Allah you're not winding up in the pokey.
Thanks everyone. I will be back. You don't have to worry about that. I just want to retire the whole "sex and drinking all the time" schtick for something more mature. I'm still writing every weekday, I'm just using a blogspot format to get my shit together. In a couple of months, I should have a new and more sophisticated schtick down. If you want to witness the embarrassment that is a writer trying to find himself, you can click over to hurricaneshotgun.blogspot.com. It won't be good for awhile, but once it is, I'll be shifting that work back over here.
Nate,
I've been reading your blog everyday since the fall of 2005. I've gotta say, it's been a while. Your personal stories are funny to read. But I'm not so sure how receptive we are going to can be to your new blog. This is not a website where mature (grown up, not smut) posts are going to go over well. I'm not saying I want you to go, but if you are changing your writing, how long until you change where you write at? Once your fan base starts to change along with your writting, I'm just not sure how long you will stay on this site. anyways, good luck. all good things must end...
You raise a good point and that's fine. I don't do this for the pay or to retain a particular fanbse. I do it because I love to write. This site has so many great writers pulling off the personal stories/smut angle that I think you'll still be very happy here. I just want my writing to grow a little and I don't feel right working on that here. This site is awesome and will continue to be so but I'm getting old and it's time to put away childish things and all that.
Gonna miss the writing but look forward to the new blog.
BTW... Don't suppose you can format a copy of No Recess for easier reading?
Nate- Way to get off this sinking ship of a site. Your "chilidish" columns are so well written, its obvious you have much talent and should have loftier goals for yourself. Your blogs illustrate that fact even more. Get out there and write some fucking novels.
I am also one of the fans that visit PIC almost exclusively to read your blog. The cover stories are becoming more and more recycled and the site needs to evolve (which it's doing, but seems to be in the awkward teenage phase where it doesn't quite know what it wants to be yet...is it more collegehumor, is it more a blog spot, is it a big steamy turd, we just don't know yet). In any case, I love your writing and am happy you are letting us follow your growth as a writer. Good luck and don't suck.















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