College Quotes
"Dating is the most useless and rotten attempt by completely worthless individuals to establish a faulty image for somebody they wish to impress in a desperate, neurotic need for attention. Unfortunately, these phony people actually impress each other and end up producing ugly, noisy, gargoyle-like children. The genetic deformities inherent in the hideous smiles of their children only indicate the fact that they, like their parents, have NO FUTURES."
-Wesley, on the usefulness of dating
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About Before and Aftermath
Quips, quotes, breaking news updates, New Orleans life, and introspection.
Recent Posts:
Quips, quotes, breaking news updates, New Orleans life, and introspection.
Recent Posts:
- Dad Got Hosed
- Grand Finales, Part I: Perfecting Attendance
- Fail With Confidence!
- The Ancient Fist-2-Face Technique
- Southern Discomfort (Ext. Ed.): Lies, Damn Lies, and That Guy From WWII
Archives by Month
- December 2006 (1) November 2006 (2) October 2006 (2) September 2006 (4) April 2006 (2) February 2006 (1) January 2006 (2) December 2005 (1) November 2005 (7) October 2005 (17) September 2005 (10)
Recent Comments
| Author | Comment | Article |
|---|---|---|
| Dr. G | The most enjoyable way to | 7 Things I Want to See During the Apocalypse |
| Anonymous | lol my gf read this ,loled | How to Argue With Females |
| Anonymous | this is verry true , well | How to Argue With Females |
| Jason Lebowski | this made my day! | How to Make Your Pussy Taste and Smell Better |
| Anonymous | Comedy noir. I like it. | Apex Predator > Breakfast Bitch |
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Before and Aftermath
Dad Got Hosed
By Et Nola | Dec 31, 2006
While taking a break from my Sunday Saints Prayer Spectacular (I practically chant “hold on to the damned football” in my sleep), a Verizon commercial prompted me to post some sort of year-end tribute. Seriously, I was touched by the script. Anyway, my tribute has already been done for me at this link.
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Grand Finales, Part I: Perfecting Attendance
By Et Nola | Nov 30, 2006
Perfecting Attendance
Towards the end of every semester, it seems that at least two timeless thoughts cross the minds of every collegian: “How many classes have I skipped?” and “Wait – the final is when?”
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Towards the end of every semester, it seems that at least two timeless thoughts cross the minds of every collegian: “How many classes have I skipped?” and “Wait – the final is when?”
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Fail With Confidence!
By Et Nola | Nov 9, 2006
Fun ways to make the most of failing a test:
Here’s a quick listing of interesting ways to fail a test. When in need, feel free to use one if not all the following (when applicable):
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Here’s a quick listing of interesting ways to fail a test. When in need, feel free to use one if not all the following (when applicable):
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Southern Discomfort (Ext. Ed.): Lies, Damn Lies, and That Guy From WWII
By Et Nola | Oct 1, 2006
As promised in this week's Scholarly Tabloid, I present another edition of "Southern Discomfort."
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Southen Discomfort Extended Edition: Two Wrongs Make a Right(wing)
By Et Nola | Sep 24, 2006
As promised in this week's Scholarly Tabloid, I present a special edition of "Southern Discomfort."
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Inside the Actor’s Studio Apartment (Morning Edition)
By Et Nola | Sep 21, 2006
7 am – The alarm sounds and its off to the beginning of another beautiful…fuck that. I’m tired. Not bothering to sit up, I deftly apply the martial arts only years of Chuck Norris films could bestow to swiftly kick the snooze button.
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A Stalker's Tale, or How I Stopped Bitching and Learned to Love the New Facebook
By Et Nola | Sep 6, 2006
“New Facebook is fucking creepy.”
So, how many times have you heard that in the past 24 hours? Awesome. Take a tally and write down the speaker. I’m copyrighting the expression and charging a fee. Of all the “get rich" schemes, this one possesses the genius of Paris Hilton…so you know it’s marketable. Copyrights are so hot right now.
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So, how many times have you heard that in the past 24 hours? Awesome. Take a tally and write down the speaker. I’m copyrighting the expression and charging a fee. Of all the “get rich" schemes, this one possesses the genius of Paris Hilton…so you know it’s marketable. Copyrights are so hot right now.
Read More »
Travelocity: The Home Game
By Et Nola | Dec 31, 2005
It's cold tonight.
Even the daylight has began to fade. The world is growing darker and more desolate. Inside, I think i'm dying...but I must live on. I mean, if I die now, I may not live long enough to make fun of Amp'd Mobile...
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Even the daylight has began to fade. The world is growing darker and more desolate. Inside, I think i'm dying...but I must live on. I mean, if I die now, I may not live long enough to make fun of Amp'd Mobile...
Read More »
