Non Partisan Questions

1. That scraping sound of cardboard on cardboard. It's like fucking nails on a chalkboard.

2. I like NYE and 4th of July. P.S. if you're around the city on your bday I owe you a drink.

3. Pepperjack cheese, intranez pokaz, The Office.

And going commando is the shit. Hopefully not literally though, because that would be really bad in a lot of ways.

1. The cracking of my skull, post pissing off a bunch of fraternity guys at the MSU vs. LSU game.

2. Mardi Gras. I would, without a doubt, trade Christmas, my brithday, and new years for Mardi Gras. I consume more alcohol during Mardi Gras than most normal people do in a full year.

3. Drunk swamp donkeys that are willing to do things that more attractive girls aren't, 24, and and malt liquor. King Cobra to be exact.

1- that squeaky sound when people rub baloons together is fucking brutal!

2- The Marine Corp. birthday, its a festival of epic proportions!

3- Disney movies, new books, silk things

1. Snoring. Anyone snoring. I've broken up with boys over snoring.

2. Any holiday is good for drinking. I just have drinks to go with all my holidays: homemade eggnog with rum or bourbon at Christmas (my mom is a cross between Martha Stewart and Courtney Love), champagne on new year's, vodka on the rocks for my birthday, malt liquor on Martin Luther King Day, beer on Thanksgiving (you can't have football without beer).

3. Celebrity gossip magazines, cream cheese icing sans cake, girly fruity cocktails like appletinis (but that's only if I want to get drunk and act slutty), carmex, Camel lights, any food involving butter and heavy cream. Yeah, I should totally be a fatass.

1. My friend can click his knuckles together and that drives me up a wall.

2. Wouldn't know.

3. The Superficial.com, TLC programming, and the Style network. Especially The :Dish.
I love trash magazines. haha.

1. My ex-girlfriend used to crack her everything. She was a dancer, and as a result could crack her entire spine, pop her hips and shoulders, and crack every joint in her arms, hands, legs, and feet.

2. I can't believe no one's said St. Patty's. Obviously, St. Patty's.

3. Designer jeans, The Big Bang Theory (the TV show, and come on, it's kind of funny), and public urination.

1. The sound of cracking knuckles drives me up the wall. It makes me murderous. The sound of screaming children in airplanes or shops. I always want to beat and/or drug the kid, since their parents won't do their job.

2. I love Christmas. You get presents, booze, and days off from work.

3. Stephen Colbert, thick books that take me eight hours to read in one sitting, and rain. I love rain. It's almost unhealthy, actually. Oh, and trash magazines.

I'm glad you got and like the shirt. I thought it was the kind of awful humor that we all can enjoy.

1) I hate the sound of vomiting. The best skill you can learn is to be like Keith Richards and puke a clean, silent stream.

2) The only holiday thus far I've been old enough to drink is this past 4th of July. And it was only legal because I was in Jamaica. But I was drunk with my family and those are the best.

3) Grape juice, the E! network, icing out of the jar, every weird sport the Winter Olympics has to offer.

1.) Anyone in pain. Actual pain. Hurts too bad to say "fuck" pain.

2.) Although it's also the biggest amateur day, St. Pat's because it's a day after my birthday.

3.)Pizza, and unnecessary late-night shots.

1. Kids crying. God, I never hate kids more than when they're crying.

2. My family has a wonderful tradition of getting shittered on mimosas on Christmas morning. It's pretty much the only way we can stand each other for an entire day.

3. Cookie dough, the TV show M.A.S.H., and watching college baseball.

1) Loud breathers in a quiet room. I want to shove my fist in their mouth.

2) Halloween. I love any excuse to get drunk in costume.

3) School supplies, grandpa sweaters, Post Secret

1. People who blow their nose in a public setting. I mean come on!

2. July 1st...CANADA DAY!

3. Chick flicks (don't judge me)