My shellacking of NYC gives the impression I hate the Big Apple. Well, I sort of do, but last weekend I experienced really awesome New York.

My old roommate, Wam, came into my hood and we spent the weekend doing things only possible in NYC. We drank in a German beer hall one night and a shitty Polish bar on another, as well as about six other places. We ate Chinese, Japanese, Vietnamese, Italian, Turkish, Irish, American, Dunkin’ Donuts and shitty diner food. We walked across the Brooklyn Bridge, shopped for ninja swords, saw the superhero exhibit at the Metropolitan Museum of Art, saw The Dark Knight, cruised through Central Park, cruised through Prospect Park, took photos of Grand Army Plaza, stole hundreds of condoms, witnessed Ground Zero, took a bunch of cabs, saw Johnny Cash tribute bands, ran into Parker Posey (she’s short), partied with old friends and met some new people.

While Wam cat burglared his way into my place, I passed out in the subway and ended up in Coney Island. Connecticut is closer to my pad than Coney Island. I didn’t get robbed, so that’s cool.

In conclusion, there is a lot of stuff I hate about NYC, but show me a city where you can do half of that in three days and where the bars are open until 4 a.m. If that city exists, and is cheaper than NYC, I'll move.

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