At a Glance:
Well, uh, I'm white. We know that for sure.Bio:
Step into my mind for a second. Come on, sit down, take your shoes off, stay a while. Okay, put your fucking shoes back on.Old Bios:
I was always the cool kid in school.
Paul Frank's work has been featured in the front page of College Humor, the newly released Book of Beer Pong, FuckThatBand.com, and your grandmother's cooch.
I often feel persecuted for my beliefs. Usually, I blame it on my Jewish heritage and faith. But I think I probably just have some really fucked-up beliefs.
Paul Frank's work has been featured in the front page of College Humor, the newly released Book of Beer Pong, FuckThatBand.com, and your grandmother's cooch.
Some real Freudian shit.
Saying what you think you don't think.
Points in Case's resident creepy white guy.
Paul Frank has written more comedy than your grandma's had periods.
Paul Frank is a mystical creature like leprochauns, midgets, and MILFs. He lives solely on a diet of vodka, Hot Pockets, and milk-less cereal. His favorite books are drug memoirs and books about serial killers. Oh, and The Cat in the Hat. That shit was bomb.
Allow me to awkwardly switch to first-person. I've drowned in both the gene pool and a cess pool. I'm like the Michael Phelps of drowning.
Old bios:
Paul Frank is currently working on a Jewish children's book tentatively titled "Fuck You, Jesus."
Scarred for life from years of Catholic school (now repressed memories), Paul Frank was raised on movies like Tommy Boy, Happy Gilmore, and Cheech and Chong, instead of Disney movies like normal kids.
I'm scared of the darks.
I make being funny look hard.
They say the fastest way to a woman's heart is through her stomach. I want to know the fastest way to a woman's vagina. When's the last time you fucked a girl's heart?
Hey, I won't be mad at ya if you peruse my comedy a bit.
Column:


Outrageous and absurd comedy with no point other than to make you laugh, or run home screaming bloody controversy.
I Would Be Quite the Catch in Prison 5
Rihanna and Chris Brown: The Police Report in Script Form 17
Everyone's High-Fiving Except for You 3
Where Do You Go from Here, Black People? 4
Medical Marijuana: My New Medication 14
Um, So I Think You Might Have Herpes 3
How Far We Have Come, How Far We Have Yet to Go 0
Mom, Dad, I'm Going into Porn 3
I'm Sorry I Let the Orgy Down 5
Hey Will, It's Me, Carlton! 5
I'm Sorry I Shanked You 5
Hi, I'm a Dentist 6
Ron Jeremy Motivational Speech 3
Dear Black People: Stop Haunting My Dreams 25
Hit Me Baby One More Time 5
That Bank Robber is Not Fucking Kidding 1
Don't Look Now, But a Homeless Man is Trying to Kill You 5
I Must've Died and Gone to Hooters 3
Condoms: Are They Stupid and Unnecessary? 7
Lord Glaxnor Says All Old People Must Die 6
My Janitorial Legacy 4
Alright, Which Asshole Brought Crack to the Coke Party? 8
Blog:


Short skits, hypothetical situations, controversial humor, and other random comedy tidbits.
Justin Bieber is Herman Cain 3
Taco Bell: Your New Stepdad 8
Hey Egyptians 8
My State of the Union 3
Areola Borealis 8
Please Help BP 6
Someone's Gotta Do It 5
My Rejected McSweeney's Submission 6
The DMV 3
Suburban Boy Gets His First Job 6
Why Don't Mirrors Blow My Dog's Fuckin' Mind? 2
Hey Tiger Woods' Wife 2
Bad Girls Club Live Blog! 1
Tell Me This Isn't Normal 11
You, Too, Can Run the Wildcat Offense! 1
My PIN Number is 8673 14
Bright Ideas and Grand Thoughts, With Your Internet Host Paul Frank 3
Oh God, I've Become One of Them 5
Now That Grandma Has Life Alert, We Can Push Her Down the Stairs Without a Guilty Conscience 3
Random Thoughts on 9/9/9 5
I Don't Even Know What the Fuck "Public Option" Is 2
Popeye's Chicken 6
Short But Sweet 11
I Love You, God (The Erin Andrews Sex Tape) 9
A Zit Waits 'Til You're 12 4
Wal-Mart TV 16
Hairstylists Just Don't Understand 8
Hip Restructuring 1
Karma's Gonna Get You 3
Friends & Family 3
If Wrestling is Fake, Then I'm a Fat Virgin Who Lives in His Parents' Basement and Lives Solely on a Diet of Cheetos and Tears 9
The Greatest Day of My Life 6
So Cold... So Cold 5
Sometimes I Lay Awake at Night 10
Excuse Me, Sir, But You're Raping Me 7
Dungeons & Dragons & Women 7
1995 3
I Like Vaginas 1
Dear Dog the Bounty Hunter's Wife's Boobs 11
You Broke My Dick's Heart 1
Two Skits I Wrote a Long Time Ago That Coincide with Current Events 0
Kick Back 2
I'm Going to Kill You 1
Fuck You, Subway, FUCK. YOU. 5
Honey, Ever Since You Got Mauled By That Giant Wild Bear, Sex With You Has Been Horrible 3
Jennifer Hudson 12
Mother Earth 0
Plaxico Burress on Self-Defense 1
Cannibal Family Dinner 5
Hamstring Injury 5
This Relationship is Over (After This Blowjob) 1
Did You Just Look At My Dick? 6
The Waiting Room 2
We Need to Go to Darfur 3
Give Me More Babies 4
Hey Everyone, I'm Sorry I'm Really Fat, Ugly, Creepy Kind Of, And Not Funny 3
Let Me Put a Popsicle Into Your Mouth 2
Jus' Askin' 26
What Kind of Coke Dealer Was That? 14
British Sitcom 1
Bristol Palin 7
Dear Poison Control 2
Can't We Just Be Friends (With Benefits)? 4
Let's Blow This Gas Chamber 4
Have You Met My Balls Yet? 5
Tragic News 9
Dinner and a Show 1
America's Saddest Home Videos 4
Oh, Fancy Seeing You Here At The Abortion Clinic, Bristol Palin 4
So You've Just Killed a Prostitute 49
I'm Just Watching You Sleep 8
Do You Think Michael Moore Showered Today? 5
Satan Runs an Advice Column 5
It Happens 4
Hey, Want to Not Watch Arena Football Tonight? 1
Thoughts: Chicago Edition 0
Hello Children 8
OBGYN EDU 5
What's That One Movie? 3
The Olympics 2
I Never Realized I Wanted to Kill Myself Before 5
Dear Lance Armstrong 0
I Just Masturbated To That Ellen Degeneres American Express Commercial 6
I'm Not Divorcing Your Vagina 5
I'm Scared of Midgets 5
Thoughts: Murders, Rapes, and More 5
Yo Momma 1
I Would Fuck John McCain's Wife 13
ATTN: All Staff and Employees 3
Make Your Afterlife an Afterparty 0
Nothing Could Top the Birth of My Daughter, 'Cept Maybe When We Beat the Bengals in '82 1
My Thoughts on Judge Judy, Dentists, Pregnancy and AIDS 4
So I Pour Blood On Babies 3
A Time For Prayer 6
That New Movie Wall-E is So Fake 13
Who Invited Shaq to This Party? 0
So This is Christmas 1
The Amateur Therapist 0
My Cousin is on The Moment of Truth Tonight 12
Bill Belichick's Babysitting Service 0
One Child Left Behind (w/ VIDEO) 0
Conversations #3 0
Conversations #2 0
Phone Conversation Video 0
Out of My Mind...Onto PIC 1
Rosie O'Donnell Pick-Up Lines 0
My Thoughts Return 1
A Few Things I've Never Told You 0
Things My Uncle Would Never Say While Molesting Me 0
Awkward Times for an Intervention 0
Things Children Never Say When You Ask Them "What Do You Want To Be When You Grow Up?" 9
Quotes from My Dentist 1
Cable News Network 0
The Delivery Room 1
The Neighborhood 0
Rape Support Group 2
That's Either Spam Or SOMETHING REALLY AWESOME1111!!!11 1
Guilt Trip Yo Momma Lines 0
How Come Nobody Told Me Charlton Heston Died? 0
An African Child's Wishlist 3
An Unfinished Dialogue 0
Comment 0
I'm a Baby-Fiddler 0
The Porn Game (NSFW) 0
Medium-Rare Comedy 0
I Answer My Own Questions 0
Nomination for Worst PIC Article of 2008 1
Random Musings 0
Who's the Faggot Now, Dad?! 1
If My Brain Could Blog 1
The Weatherman 0
Things You Will Never Hear 1
Prank Call 0
Overcooked Comedy 0
The Ultimate Guide to Crying Yourself to Sleep 1
Comedy Buffet 18
I Just Voted 2
A Little Helping of Some Points, In Case You Were Hungry 0
Watch This VIDEO 5
Health Class 7
Things Hitler's Teachers Shouldn't Have Said to Him 4
Never Forget 1
New Year's Revolutions 3
We Have a Problem 1
The Black Market 5
Garbage Disposal 2
Hitler and His Jewish Friend 4
The Network 2
Some Points Just in Case 1
Template For Insulting Comments 5
I Couldn't Ask for a Better Banner Ad 0
I Think These are Thoughts 6
The Ol' Bait and Switch 3
A New Way to Stand Up 5
Strip Clubs in Winter 3
What I Wrote Down During Geography 6
Don't Flush the Fish 2
Home Ownership 2
Bill Murray is Tired 7
Communion Food Critic 5
Euphoric Utopia: A Winter Wonderland 0
Thoughts Leaking From My Brain 3
Cock Block 4
I Love Doing Sports 2
I'll Never Be Chris Berman 6
Turkey, Mashed Potatoes, and Comedy 2
It's Not Delivery, It's Comedy 0
Fresh-Squeezed Comedy 8
Be Kind, Rewind 4
An Awkward Introduction 0
Comedy Articles:
Make-A-Different-Wish Foundation5 comments, 3.5 stars
Dear Timothy Williams, we regret to inform you that your wish will remain just that: a wish. And wishes don’t come true, Little Timmy. Hey, life is unfair.
So You've Just Been Diagnosed with Alzheimer's4 comments, 2.7 stars
Sorry to hear you've been diagnosed with Alzheimer's. But since you won't remember anything I write in this letter, let me take the opportunity to reveal how much I've always despised the elderly.
I Promise I Won't Sleep With Your Mom10 comments, 3.9 stars
I promise, honey, I will NEVER, ever, ne'er, ever, ever ever ever sleep with your mother, or get a handjob from your mother.
Roommates You Wish You Could Hate (But Don't Exist)
7 comments, 2.0 stars
Good thing you can't hate what doesn't exist, or your roommate would be in a lot of trouble for things like masturbating to photos of your family.
7 comments, 2.0 stars
Good thing you can't hate what doesn't exist, or your roommate would be in a lot of trouble for things like masturbating to photos of your family.
One More 9/11 Down
9 comments, 3.0 stars
One more anniversary down, ten gazillion more 9/11 TV shows and memorabilia to go. Soak it up, firefighters across America.
9 comments, 3.0 stars
One more anniversary down, ten gazillion more 9/11 TV shows and memorabilia to go. Soak it up, firefighters across America.
A Letter from Your Unborn Fetus
35 comments, 3.8 stars
An unborn child speaks out from inside the womb to let his father know it's OK to have an abortion, and how to convince the girlfriend to do it.
35 comments, 3.8 stars
An unborn child speaks out from inside the womb to let his father know it's OK to have an abortion, and how to convince the girlfriend to do it.
That One Time You Killed a Clown
9 comments, 4.0 stars
Hey, remember that really crazy shit that went down in the back room of the carnival? Come on, I know you remember. You killed a fucking clown.
9 comments, 4.0 stars
Hey, remember that really crazy shit that went down in the back room of the carnival? Come on, I know you remember. You killed a fucking clown.
The Lost Diaries of Adam and Eve
16 comments, 3.5 stars
Finally, the Bible's most heated, inspirational passages are available, direct from Adam’s own cocaine’d gums and Eve’s herpes-ridden lips.
16 comments, 3.5 stars
Finally, the Bible's most heated, inspirational passages are available, direct from Adam’s own cocaine’d gums and Eve’s herpes-ridden lips.
Global Warming Does Not Exist
127 comments, 3.9 stars
Global warming is the liberal's way of whining, 'I'm too hot, but it's not my fault, it's society's fault.'
127 comments, 3.9 stars
Global warming is the liberal's way of whining, 'I'm too hot, but it's not my fault, it's society's fault.'
Fake Answers to Fake Questions
13 comments, 4.0 stars
Get ready for the Q&A that's bound to revolutionize the imaginary advice column industry! Two perspectives, one person - it's schizotherapy!
13 comments, 4.0 stars
Get ready for the Q&A that's bound to revolutionize the imaginary advice column industry! Two perspectives, one person - it's schizotherapy!
The Applebee's Menu Items are My Only Friends
10 comments, 4.5 stars
With entrees like those sweet, tender Honey BBQ Baby Backs and an endless supply of mouthwatering sides, there's no need for human relationships.
10 comments, 4.5 stars
With entrees like those sweet, tender Honey BBQ Baby Backs and an endless supply of mouthwatering sides, there's no need for human relationships.
How to Masturbate with Your Roommate in the Room21 comments, 3.2 stars
For those who need to masturbate so often that there's no choice but to do it in front of their roommate, try The Party Boy or The Diversion Trick.
Comments:
- Thank you kindly. - Nov 11, 2011
- Who can riot now, motherfucker???? - Feb 24, 2011
- For some reason, I always thought Court Sullivan was black. This article seem - Feb 5, 2011
- WHAT!? I AM NOT NOR HAVE I EVER HAD RED HAIR. - Feb 2, 2011
- This article is gold. - Jan 21, 2011
- Yes, my commenters are the worst. - Jan 20, 2011
- This is how it's done. Best article I've seen on Points in Case in months. - Jan 19, 2011
- No, Ashley Garmany is the only one masturbating to this. Everyone else is mas - Jan 12, 2011
- I wish I could "Like" this comment. - Jan 11, 2011
- Good article, I am disappointed with the superlatives about me, though. - Jan 10, 2011
- Thanks, gay superfan. - Nov 4, 2010
- "For the longest moment of my life she didn't move and I thought I'd killed h - Nov 2, 2010
- I liked the old title of this better... - Oct 20, 2010
- I KNOW RIGHT?! - Jun 1, 2010
- Oh. - May 13, 2010
- I hate when people ask how I am or how I've been. I'm not going to lie and sa - May 12, 2010
- I was (and still am) weighing the pros and cons of suicide. - Mar 10, 2010
- Note to self: This is quite possibly one of the funniest things I've ever wri - Mar 10, 2010
- yeah, hitler is so 1941. is "GENUINELY damaged" a compliment or an insult? - Jan 25, 2010
- WHOEVER VOTED THIS A ONE CAN S MY FUCKIN D - Jan 19, 2010
- A new JD Boston article, what the fuck? - Nov 24, 2009
- Good call! I know it's Louis Armstrong too, I don't know what happened there. - Nov 23, 2009
- This is funny - Nov 23, 2009
- sometimes porn is the only thing that makes me believe in god - Nov 12, 2009
- The name of my fist pet? That's my other grave secret, how did you know about - Nov 5, 2009
- not yet you don't. - Oct 23, 2009
- best comment ever. - Oct 22, 2009
- this was sweet - Sep 9, 2009
- oh my god am i dreaming - Sep 6, 2009
- yeah sorry not my room - Aug 20, 2009
- Give me your email (you can contact me through my profile: http://www.pointsi - Jul 23, 2009
- Awesome. - Jul 22, 2009
- You should really get that cough checked out. - Jun 28, 2009
- Dude I was wondering how you broke the news to me almost a half hour before a - Jun 26, 2009
- Yes. - Jun 10, 2009
- Ha, yes, probably. I forgot to mention in this article Karma's accomplice: - Apr 22, 2009
- No objections. - Apr 19, 2009
- Once I woke up in a cemetery - Apr 17, 2009
- Qualllllity - Apr 1, 2009
- What the fuck are you talking about? - Mar 28, 2009
- Good column, man. - Mar 4, 2009
- KC, what does the picture have to do w/ this? - Mar 2, 2009
- I'm glad you're back. You ARe pic. no homo - Feb 28, 2009
- Is there such a thing as being 'not enough Canadian'? - Feb 25, 2009
- Yeah, you don't even wanna know the stuff that doesn't make it to my blog. - Feb 24, 2009
- lol that's what i thought when i read this - Feb 9, 2009
- Pizza pics were funny. I want more non-words stuff on PIC. - Feb 4, 2009
- Good call KC - Jan 17, 2009
- For the record, I liked this because it was funny. On a slightly unrelated - Jan 17, 2009
- Hahaha. I liked this alot. Not because I'm gay. I liked it because I'm not - Jan 17, 2009
- This is so fucking funny. It just suddenly turns really fucking crazy. And - Jan 16, 2009
- Uhh...I'm just trying to make people laugh and do what makes me happy, which - Jan 15, 2009
- When I was in the hospital, I had a nurse with like a German or Czech accent - Jan 14, 2009
- "Hey, you know what? I know people that get drunk and smoke cigarettes and ho - Jan 14, 2009
- I can so picture this in my mind. haha - Jan 13, 2009
- This was awesome. I laughed out loud and everything. And usually reading does - Jan 13, 2009
- That Jake Delhomme press conference sure was awkward last night, eh, guys? - Jan 11, 2009
- I hope this doesn't make me look gay, but I just wanted you to know that this - Jan 11, 2009
- If you're referring to "Cannibal Family Dinner," don't compare anything to th - Dec 31, 2008
- This wasn't supposed to be posted. Sorry. - Dec 23, 2008
- Shut the fuck up. Me writing one article on a comedy site doesn't do shit, yo - Dec 1, 2008
- MARK THIS DAY AND LET THIS DAY BE KNOWN: Court Sullivan made a rare grammatic - Oct 30, 2008
- Hey JC, bro maybe you should stop reading comedy for a while. It's having an - Oct 14, 2008
- Anonymous - I haven't gotten a naked picture of you yet. paul@pointsincase - Sep 12, 2008
- Pardon? - Sep 12, 2008
- Send me a naked pic of yourself. paul@pointsincase.com - Sep 11, 2008
- Wait...girls like guys? - Sep 8, 2008
- You spammers are always so thankful! - Sep 5, 2008
- 1. Take all. 2. Story is crucial, well not crucial, but I get into it. I MEA - Sep 3, 2008
- I love Archie comics and I love good jokes, therefore I enjoyed this column. - Aug 22, 2008
- Quality. - Aug 19, 2008
- Oh you'll get lots of Legos sets, Ashley. Sorry, that was really creepy (I - Aug 11, 2008
- RSS feed, girl. J/k j/k j/k j/k j/k j/k j/k, just comment with your full name - Aug 11, 2008
- Wait, fuck you, was this a pun? Why I oughtta... - Aug 9, 2008
- 100% serious, Nate. This'll be my only piece ever that's not comedy. - Aug 9, 2008
- One time I was in Milwaukee and this homeless black guy was showing us this f - Jul 15, 2008
- Glad you're back Nate. - Jun 30, 2008
- Damnnn, girl, not really. I'm drinking non-alcoholic vodka. How much you b - Jun 26, 2008
- Yes. You have to do math problems that are TWICE AS HARD as the ones for anon - Jun 26, 2008
- Damn girl, I don't know what you mean, but maybe that's because I'm trashed o - Jun 26, 2008
- This is the kind of negativity I don't like to see. - Jun 25, 2008






