Welcome, freshmen!

Yes, I know that's the name of an abysmal early 90's Nickelodeon show, but you couldn't possibly, because most of you just got done being fetuses when it was on. But that's okay! You didn't miss much. (If anything you should be more upset about missing out on Hey Dude!, which featured a young Christine Taylor. Yum!) Read More »

The term dork actually means whale penis, and though I do have a whale penis, I don't consider myself to be dork.

But that doesn't stop me from being a dork sympathizer, and yes, a comic book fan. Read More »

Okay, I confess, I watched The American Mall, but I didn't enjoy myself. Read More »

Way the hell back a long time ago, a lot of people never even thought about having sex with their video game systems (and by "a lot of people" I most certainly don't mean me. Just ask my strangely moist Atari 2600). Read More »

As college-ish age types, many of you have your rituals to kick off the weekend. Some of mine used to include tossing exploding bottles filled with urine off of balconies, or dressing up in my gorilla costume, but now I'm a working stiff. Read More »

The other day, in spite of the fact that I am 25, I attended the Cleveland Ohio installment of the Vans Warped Tour yet again, mainly for the same reason I still go to college: it's still there, I still don't have a real job, and I love having wet girls land on top of me. Read More »

Followers of my musings, or as I prefer, "Moose-ings," are well aware that Lindsay Lohan and I are no longer an item. She's into what she claims are girls now, and as the old idiom that really isn't old ‘cause I just made it up goes, "Vaginas don't just grow on mes" (mes as in me, only plural instead of trees...oh you get it). Read More »

I know what you're thinking folks: "Isn't just reading a Nick Moose brand column reward enough?  Do you really feel it's necessary to have to throw in prizes to sweeten the deal?" But here at Nick Moose® we pride ourselves not only in bringing you Nick Moose's view a good 15% more accurately than any other column, but also in our ridiculously unnecessary over-the-top promotional gim Read More »

Lindsay, I'm sorry.

I know there's nothing worse than being broken up with over PointsInCase.com, but I had to find a way to do it. And in my defense, you live way the hell out in California and I don't have the slightest idea how to get there. Read More »

It's time I gave it to ya straight folks. You've no doubt suspected this for years, but I just want to get it out in the open once and for good so we can all be on the same page: I, mild-mannered and overwhelmingly popular columnist Nick Moose, am in fact, disabled. Read More »

A lot of people think that living with their parents after college when they still don't have a real job is going to be a kick-ass rocket-sled ride to a galaxy of non-stop sex and intrigue.  Let me tell you though, it does fall slightly short of living up to that hype. Read More »

Greetings future and former friends! All 36 of my devoted readers can rejoice as I, the best, the beautiful, the only Nick Moose, have found a new home at Points in Case! Read More »