I'm Still Here Suckas! (KC in the ROK)

(Don't worry everybody, I'm still alive!!!) 

Howdy folks, fans, friends and family! Or as we say in the Republic of Korea (or the ROK), "Annyong haseo!" Sorry it has been so long since you've heard one of my tales about balls, hooking up or getting poopfaced. I moved across the world to start up my teaching career. It's been absolutely fantastic. I'm very inspired. My kids are incredibly brilliant and I'm really happy to be here.

But, as with any time you head to a different place, you're bound to be a little culture shocked by the wacky shit you see every day.

WEIRD SHIT ABOUT KOREA 

Korea is effing hot. Sometimes it's 90 degrees (Fahrenheit, I don't know this crazy Celcius stuff) with 90 percent humidity. I sometimes almost get heat stroke just walking down the street. However, the Korean nationals wear suits all of the time. These people don't sweat! It's crazy!

I knew Koreans eat octopus. I didn't realize they ate it all the time. It's in everything and it's absurdly chewy. Just like fish. I bought a granola bar the other day, and there were little fishies blended in with the nuts and raisins. It's kind of hard to enjoy a snack when it's staring you in the face.

The people are genuinely beautiful. I don't really have a joke for that, but it's true. I plan on dating a chick waaaaay too hot for me starting at any moment.

The people don't sleep! In all of the developed countries, the ROK sleeps the least out of anybody. You constantly see people sleeping everywhere though, because they're so busy they don't sleep at home.

Fashion: while the people are good looking, their fashion sense is about five to ten years past the USA's. They still love Abercrombie & Fitch and popped collars. God help us when Koreans discover hipsters or Jersey Shore Douchebag chic. However, maybe the Koreans could clean the oil spill slop so they can gel their hair.

I'm tall here! I'm on average almost a foot taller and fifty pounds heavier than the average Korean. However, I won't say anything about my weiner size...Yet.

Okay, I hope everything is going great! I hope to hear from you soon and I'll be spinning more yarns about living in the ROK once I figure out how to pretend like I'm working more.

You're the best,

kc