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Martin Stanley

School: Kennesaw State University
Class of: 2010
Hometown: Fayetteville, GA

At a Glance:

I spent 4 years in the Marine Corp and am now back in college, kinda. I'm on the 12-year program, I like to take my time with these things. Fuck it, my wife has a Master's so I'll just buy her Bachelor's since she's done with it.

Comedy Articles:


Romancing the Bone: A Lonely Love Story
10 comments, 4.6 stars
Using the formula "Sex - Contraceptive = Baby," my wife and I began "trying to have a baby." But first, our little science project began with a semen analysis to gauge my potency.

Why Isn't There Mexican Food Delivery?
4 comments, 4.5 stars
If you think about it, Mexican delivery makes the most sense: you're already in loose-fitting clothing and you're already near your favorite bathroom.

Martin Stanley's State of the Summer Address
3 comments, 4.4 stars
I'm back in school. Again. School by the way drives me fucking insane. For instance, who the fuck names these buildings? 'And on the right is the Dennis Anderson Grave Digger Monster Truck Hall.' Oh neato!

Five Ways to Mess with Your Friends on Facebook, Part II
9 comments, 4.7 stars
How far would you go to screw with your friends on Facebook? If you said steal your friend's identity and introduce their grandma to new sexual lingo, you're on the right track.

The 12 Types of Infantry Marines
248 comments, 4.5 stars
Remember the Marines commercial with that asshole climbing mountains and shit, fighting dragons with a sword? Well that's a bunch of horse shit. Here's a look at the 'real' Marines.

Half Cuban, 100% White
14 comments, 4.5 stars
I'm a halfie - my mother is Cuban and my father is American. I'm not brown, I'm not white… I'm fucking khaki. And it sucks. Here's why.

Five Ways to Mess with Your Friends on Facebook
28 comments, 4.5 stars
There are many creative ways to have a little fun messing with your friends on Facebook. Here are five of my favorites, and the screenshots to prove just how much fun they've already been!

11 Things We Still Haven't Figured Out Yet (and It's Almost 2011)
18 comments, 4.4 stars
Another year gone, and it amazes me how much shit we still haven’t figured out, given all the technology available today. From checkbooks and pizza delivery to cruise control and cell phones.

10 Things Real Men Do
33 comments, 4.4 stars
Real men crap, scratch their balls, belch, and punch things when they get angry. They also fix things, and try to be environmentally friendly, by hardly ever doing a wash.

The Golden Rules of Facebook
19 comments, 3.9 stars
'The most important document to emerge from a computer since The Golden Rules of Instant Messenger.' -Mark Zuckerberg, Founder and CEO of Facebook

10 Things a Man Should Never, Ever Do
73 comments, 3.4 stars
Unless you can prove that you are indeed Dracula's metrosexual grandson, do not pop your collar. Pansies like you disgrace real men.

11 Groups I'd Like to Start on Facebook, But Never Will
6 comments, 4.3 stars
Groups that sum up the little things in life, but I'll never expend the energy to create. Like, 'No matter how stocked the fridge is, I never want to eat anything in it.'

10 Things Destroying America's Youth
86 comments, 3.2 stars
American youths are steadily being eroded into douchebags, techno-geeks, and new age hippies. Here are the worst things chipping away at the next generation.

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