I'm Writing a Book

I'm sitting in my apartment, shell-shocked and coffee fried. I just pounded out twenty pages of the book I'm writing. I have one more chapter to write, and then it's time to get out the red pens and my copy of Strunk and White's "Elements of Style" and pretend I know how to edit.

Here's what you can expect from the book.

First, every snippet I've ever written on this blog will be in there. Other than that, nothing from PIC will be in the book.

Second, there will be 120 pages of new snippets, all taken from the past fifteen years of my life, in this book. I literally sat around for three months and tried to remember the funniest conversations I had and then wrote them down. Writing has never been that fun for anyone. I guarantee you that. Hopefully, you will buy this book and laugh your ass off. These snippets are classic.

Third, there will be eighty to a hundred pages about the year I became a drug dealer and toured the Grateful Dead (it should be noted that I am legitimate and have been for some time). This was the defining "growing up" period of my life and was also funny as hell.

Fourth, and this is kind of a surprise, there will be a fifteen page essay outlining everything I know about manhood and why I care so much about understanding women. I think this will help people. Because, as we all know, I'm here to help.

Now, here is what there will not be. And for this I apologize. I had originally intended on writing a chapter or three outlining my rules to life and why. That sucker started at twenty pages and didn't stop growing after that. It looks like it will become its own piece and not a part of this collection. Plus, the rules didn't really fit in to the random feel of my new book.

I also don't have a title yet, though I will admit I'm leaning toward "The Snippet Book" because I am unoriginal and thus forced to write from experience.

I sure hope that people will read this thing, but at this point, I just want to finish it. It's been like five months all ready. I honestly figured I'd be done by now.

And, because I know you all care, I'll let you know when I've finished editing it.

The home stretch is always the hardest. Wish me luck. Or don't. See if I care.

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