Even if they know we spent $200 on alcohol during Spring Break, they're still stupid enough to give us money "for textbooks" a week later: The Lies We Tell
They'll kick you out and make you go to college but then say they miss you and make amazing home-cooked meals when you're home for the Christmas holidays: Parental Interference
and Intervention
If you make nice with them before you head off to college, they'll tell you (through old stories) how to make cheap ass food and get crazy drunk off barely any alcohol: Flying
the Coop
Sometimes they won't if you're still living at home, but they'll pretty much drive you everywhere your heart desires: Let Me Be Your Special Needs Boyfriend
They wouldn't give you an allowance when you were going to high school but they'll send you $20 in the mail for taxi cab fare for your birthday: Happy Freaking Birthday
They're your personal maids: they'll tell you how to make your dorm room look awesome so you can pick up and they'll give you tips on how to make the carpet shine after a night full of puking: Making Moves
with Freshmen