Submit Comedy Articles
Do you have a knack for comedy writing?
Do at least three of your friends think you're pretty funny?
Then we want you to contribute to PIC! We really do read all submissions carefully, and granted you answered yes to the previous questions, the chances of having your writing published to half a million readers every month are pretty good. As a result of having their work featured on PIC, our writers have been signed by publishers like Kensington Books and National Lampoon, picked up by magazines like Sports Illustrated and The Onion, interviewed by network talk shows, inundated with love and hate mail alike, and charmed by the delightfully chaotic experience of "going viral." We wish all of this and more/less upon you too. Read on!
Please take a moment to read these guidelines before submitting an article. Feel free to simultaneously touch yourself in a special place if it helps you relax.
We're specifically looking for:
- Humorous, creative, thematic, and entertaining articles
- Minimum 600 words (average is 800-1200)
- Original comedy articles (preferably not posted online already)
Past contributions include irreverent topics ranging from hypothetical extreme stunts, blow-up doll girlfriends, and the zombie apocalypse, to more mainstream observations on partying, gym etiquette, and the walk of shame. Funny stories, essays, and articles addressing current events are fine, as long as they're comedic. The only styles we tend not to publish are satire news and short fiction.
Your article doesn't have to be about alcohol or sex to be appealing; we're very open to creative writing, "boring" topics made interesting, edgy or controversial material, satire/parodies, and other offbeat ideas you won't find in Maxim or your campus newspaper. If you submit a guide or "how to" piece, try to make it as funny as it is helpful. We're looking for smart, unique comedy writing with personality, style, or pizzazz (you can't spell "pizzazz" without "pizza" so...yeah). But again, the main goal is to arouse laughter, whatever your method.
Things that will increase the chances of having your comedy article published:
- Original topic (or at least a new spin or angle)
- Strong first paragraph (this will show up on the front page)
- Proofread/polished content
- Catchy, relevant title
- Emerging from a cloud of fog under a strobe light
If we decide to publish your article, it will go up on the front page, as well as the Comedy Articles section. Your name and photo will go up alongside your article and your profile will have a spot for future submissions.
Sometimes people ask us about becoming a columnist or blogger on the site. Typically, we like to publish a few of your comedy articles first, to introduce readers to your style and make sure you want to be a staff writer. But we also realize you may either be a seasoned writer who can jump right in, or have a writing style that is more suited to either a column or blog format. If that's the case, send us a pitch, some details about yourself, and relevant examples of your previous or potential material.
If you have multiple comedy articles, please upload up to 3 of your best below. This gives us a better initial idea of your writing style and depth, and increases the chances that at least one article will fit into our publishing schedule. It may also give us multiple orgasms.
If you have any trouble using the form, just email us at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Thanks, we look forward to reading and pleasuring ourselves to your best work!
Founder and Editor