Best Friends for Never

right on dude. funny stuff, but very true.

hmm, we're gonna have to be on the lookout for Lola Vaugh on this one.

boxed wine and sex and the city, can't get much more real than that

classic justin

nice fucking job. i agree 100%

I'm glad you wrote this fucking article. I've been doing significant "research" on this phenomenon and I've come to the conclusion that this "BFF" thing helps empower them. Together they fell like they have control over their situation; Alone, you can pick them off like a lion picks off a straying zebra. If anyone has any other ideas on this phenomenon, I'd love to hear it because this shit needs to end.

HaHA! As a woman, I can say that this article is completely and blatantly true. (And humorous).

"I just want to drive over to her house with a wrench ... and when I get an inadequate answer ... I put her down like Old Yeller."

Old Yeller was put down with a wrench? Sweet, I gotta rent that movie. Maybe that'll be the entertainment for my next guy's night...

were facebook friends

yea....pretty much cool

wow i sound like such a fucking creep

This is easily one of my favorite things ive read on this site up to date.

amazing. truly amazing. I've been telling girls this for years, with no avail. HERE is hard proof, and on a reliable site such as PIC, EVERYONE will believe it.
10/10 on my scale, which is a hell of a lot more accurate the the BCS will ever be... but i have a feeling that'll be brought up in another column here soon.

i would really want to talk with a very critical guy that can tell me to my face what he truly thinks about me. cuz i guess what boyfriends and guys interested say doesnt count...

Right on man...you are a genius

Man, this article was crazy cool, all over town. I cannot help but agree.

This is so true. There are no other things to say besides that. Well done. You should do one on sorority sisters.

I agree wholeheartedly with this article. It's an unwritten rule that girls just cannot trust other girls. In the past three years, I've not only lost contact with the majority of my "best friends forever" from high school, but I've avoided being around them all but a few completely.

Girls (including myself) are bitchy, whorish, and untrustworthy. I have and often do talk about my 'friends' at the drop of a hat. It's just how we are.

I have more guy friends now than I ever had in high school, and that's how I prefer it. Plus, you can have fun and mess around with your guy friends and they won't want anything more out of it. That's a plus.

amazing.

HEy im a girl and i totally aggreee to this its tru we are bitches , but if u think we are not ready for society Then Go gay and marry ur guy friends sence there such GREAt friends u douch . We might be 2-faced and shit but we are the ones with boobs and asses and pussys that pleasure uu!! so think about that buddy.

my balls smell like bacon

get a life man

Gotta love the stupid bitches posting that they agree with you, trying to act like they know what the fuck is going on...you are right, chicks aren't ready for society, fuck how did i miss that?

WTF is an Ike wig?

hysterical Samson... absolutely hysterical...

and sadly, true.

I agree with the whole girls being bitches with each other and in fact I do prefer male friends because they are more simple and we can just sit around drinking beer.

But haha to the "girls aren't ready for society." oh justin im not even going to try and argue with you though, not like your mentality is going to change.

you are genius...incredibly true and well said. LOVED IT

i hate you

you're my hero, all girls are bitches, and all guys are cool. you were right about every single thing in that article. if you're ever in spokane, look me up, i want to hang out with such a wise person

you all are D-bags if you take this literally

Talk about taking way too much time out of your day to talk about something you A. know nothing about and B. something that doesn't concern you. Boys get all pissy when girls catagorize them as sleazeballs, cheaters, and "all the same" and yet they go about thinking like this and writing artcles like this one. The fact that you care so much about this topic as to write an entire article about it says that it bothers you enough to have an opinion. Why don't you stick to having opinions about things you know about like sports and cars and leave the BFF's to the girls. U guys may think scratching your balls, chugging a beer, and burping in each others faces is a good time... those are just things we will never understand either... but you don't see me bitching about that. Haha... u are a miserable person.

I COMPLETELY AGREE. I'm female myself, and I can't stand the way my own gender acts towards each other. The topics of conversation are limited to a recap of that day's events ("so she said ... and I said ...! And then she..."), talking about someone behind their back, or talking about themselves. I think the whole group thing is a pathetic attempt at empowering each other (strength in numbers?). When I was much younger, I was told that girls have to be friendly even when they don't like each other, because it makes us strong together-it's a "sisterhood". Screw sisterhood...Feminism gone wrong, if you ask me. I have mostly guy friends. The only thing I object to here is the complete generalizing of girls-I am ready for society, and there must be some others like me who are.

instead of<b> bitchin </b>about shit u nothin about since u obviously are upset at the female race for not getting laid and being born under the unreversible condition <i>ugly</i>, talk about shit that will make a difference. ur suppossed 2 be a journalist major, any kid without an education could rant about the stupid shit u suppossedly 'bring to the surface' that no one else ever mentions they just think about it. Get a damn hobby or a better idea-<b>find some material to write about that actually requires an education</b>

:lol: Thank You Thank You Thank You.. I just can't stop saying it. It is about time someone else realized what I ( a woman(since birth you asssholes)) have known all along. Whenever my friends and I go out I am always asked why I don't hang out with women.
THIS IS WHY!!!

So true. I'm the girl who has *tonnes* of male friends - and this is probably why! THE BITCHING! Every single one of my close female friends are like me , so no real worries there but the other female friends I have? I couldn't spend a night in their company!

Love the article babe

I couldn't agree more, knowing more than one girl who is just like that.

To Lola, Krystal, and Laurie;he said Some are ready for society maybe not all, but some. Rebello cut down on the generalization with that so fuck off with that shit.

And second i agree with this article like so many others do also. Thank you for making this Justin.

last night while procrastinating studying for my exam late at the library, i somehow found ur articles and found them so funny, i read almost everything you have written. at times it's a little much to take, but so true and so funny. yes, girls are exactly like this.

you're also a genius and i hope you find a good job. congrats on graduation.

I agree with a lot of what you said, being a girl, but you forgot to mention that pretty much all guys are dicks as well.

I agree with your comment Me. Guys are assholes, girls are bitches. It's the way it has always been. Also, on guys night out, we make fun of each other constantly. I have a fat guy friend (his nickname is Bacon for Christ's sake) and I call him fat every chance I get. I also make fun of him for being Russian and I really do suspect him of being in the closet. It's all in good fun. :)

Haha. The last line made me giggle. I'm a girl. I don't really act like that.. (Or.. at least if I do, I don't notice it.) But I've seen girls do this stuff. I can't stand it.. So, yeah. My best friend is a gay guy. That works out nicely. XP Umm. Now I feel like a moron for typing this out and really not saying anything important.

"Why don’t girls have girl’s nights as often as guys have guy’s nights?"

Probably the most valid point in the entire article. While girls can pregame and end up getting shitfaced with their BFF's, what happens next? They drunk dial the guys.

This is so untrue. This doesn't apply to all girls jackass.

I'm actually friends with my best friends. GIRLS. I prefer being around girls. We care about eachother, and we don't talk shit about eachother.

I've been friends with my closest GIRLfriends since 1st grade.

Obviously we'll crack jokes about eachother, but we aren't catty whores. We laugh at the catty whores.

No wonder you jack off so much, you obviously can't get laid.

You're just a fucking case study of why men beat their wives. Ike wig? Grow the fuck up.

What's wrong? Are you bitter because you have a tiny ass dick and no self confidence whatsoever?

Of course you are.

While I agree with the original premise of this article (there is no way to measure who has the "best friends" in the world) - it then took an ugly turn. Not all girls hate each other. This is a lie introduced by dill-weeds like this guy and then perpetuated by the stupid girls who want dill-weeds like this guy to think that they are cool. Not all girls are bitches... you just tend to remember the ones who are.

I don't think that I have the best girlfriends in all the world... but I do know a lot of women that I like and respect, and I believe that there are plenty of women that like and respect me too. And not all men want to have sex with every woman they are friends with... just immature men (eg: the author).

Bitching about Facebook is dumb.

Alright, so we can't trust our girlfriends but we can't trust the men because they just want to fuck us?

Not to mention we aren't ready for society. So please, tell us -- what are the women supposed to do?

Ahhhh, suddenly I'm all the more grateful to be a hot lesbian. I don't have to deal with the dickweed guys who write articles like this (except to give them blue balls -- is there anything more fun than teasing a dumb hetero meathead then leaving with the hottest girl in the room?), and neither do I have to deal with the minority of stupid girls for whom this article is true -- and who actually post on forums agreeing with something that insults them to make themselves look more attractive to guys. Grow a spine, ladies.

All of you are hilarious. Keep it up, I'm enjoying the show!

casual misogyny*

How modest ^

Somebody's sleeping on the couch tonight!

Not funny

sexist and dry

not ready for society? fuck you

i liked this blog you have going until now

Hmm if you're trying to be funny, it's fairly good since there's a little bit of truth hidden deep down in there.

But since you said you weren't joking...you have like a fifth grade understanding of women. You probably still think they have cooties.

That is bull fucking shit. You've got a great writing style, but I hate your tendency to make generalizations and blanketed statements. But of course this is your website and you have every right to do this.
I'm sure you already know this, but I'm going to say anyway that not all girls are like that. Sure, sometimes my friends and I have our gripes about each other, but if someone were to approach one of us and ask about the other, I bet you'd hear nothing but positive qualities. Some girls are actually capable of having great friends, believe it or not.
And I don't understand what this whole "girls aren't ready for society" thing is supposed to mean. Um, girls have always existed in society. Even if they were in the house most of the day, it's not like they were locked underground in some separate realm. They still saw the daylight and they still had relationships with others. They socialized with other members of society, thus they were part of it. Really, men are the less civilized creatures, and you know it. You're the ones who can get a hard on for every pretty lady that walks by. Animals. You're the ones who cheat and blame it on your "nature." If that's not uncivilized, I don't know what the fuck is.
Stop acting like the better half because you're not. If we were to kill you off and preserve your semen, the world would continue just fine and there would be a lot less ass-fucking.
And for the record, I have more girls' nights than my boyfriend does guys' nights. Well, pin a rose on my fucking nose.

I find this hilarious. You also forgot to mention when girls think they're better than guys. No, sweety. We may be awesome. But guys don't cause useless dramaaaa~

Hence why I like hanging out with guys more than girls. Because we all know I'm secretly a gay man in a woman's body.

I had to check if I had a dick, because since none of this applies to me I must not be female. All females are the same, they all hate each other, love sex in the city and wine. Totally. Except, you know, the non-middle aged white ones. This article only applies to 40 year old American women. Smut I tell you! I hate wine, I hate satc, and I know hate other women. I have one or two close friends and our topic of discussion isn't "OMG becky her butt is SO big!?!?!" Me and my friends have been through shit together, like being homeless. Girl's aren't ready for society? wow that's the dumbest thing I've heard in my life. Women ARE society.

Wow you're a bellend. That's all.

meh. time for some beer and video games with my girl friends.

I found your post on Ten Things I Don't Understand About Black People, and then found this page linked on that page, and I just have to say...

I've never laughed to fucking loud and often in the space of 5 minutes.

We need more people like you in this fucking world!

I'm adding you to my RSS, no fucken doubt!

What kind of females are you hanging out with? You are making all the wrong friends, and it's turned you into a closed-minded, sexist idiot. I don't drink, I hate Sex and the City, and my girls and I do have girls nights... all of the time. And I don't bitch about my female friends... I bitch about everyone because I'm bitter with the world. It's nothing personal. Truth is, I love my friends to death, male and female, and I undeniably prefer female company over male company. Men are so boring... women have so much to them.

girls INVENTED society.

Wow man. I hope this IS a joke. If not, it sounds like YOU are the one who likes to bitch about "girls".

Most WOMEN do not prefer the company of men, and I would guess that those who do are suffering from some serious internalized sexism. Where did that come from? Hmmm... maybe from some asshole men in their life who reinforce hateful stereotypes and patriarchal oppression by telling them things like "females friends are useless" or something. I guess we'll never know.

A heterosexual male who feels that all his female friends represent is sex is in for a shitty love life. If you DO find a women to love you who will settle for the kind of disrespect you are dishing out right here, I wouldn't be surprised if she turns to alcohol and DOES beat other women with boxed wine.

In closing, YOU are the "crazy bitch", MAN.

p.s. - sweet examples of privileged white males who probably have cool friends btw!

I grew up around guys and didn't have any female friends until I was 11. That was a shock to the system. I'd gone from people that say outright if they have a problem with someone else, punch each other in the face and then get over it to people that just gossiped behind the backs of the people they didn't like instead of saying they had a problem. That was confusing, I prefer the guy way of doing things and am still a very blunt person. Having said that though, I've lived in 6 countries now and I have to say American women are the absolute worst for the behaviour traits you outlined. I've also noticed that they go from being strangers to BFF quite quickly when compared with women from other nations. Maybe it's this thing for forming 'friendships' hastily that is part of reason for the more backstabbing behaviours?

Girls suck.

This is true. Girls are only good for one thing, which is sex, as it proves in this post. They deserve only to be used and left, feel sorry for the guys that have to stick with them.

I mean, their whole lives are completely obsessed with men, with no interest in anything outside gossiping, men, relations, and looking good. Have you looked at womens magazines? Have you heard their conversation? Their lives revolve around pleasing men and sexual relations. They have no real interest in anything else, just superficial emotional reactions to things, such as music, movies, etc. Do they understand anything? No! They are definitely not ready for society. Have you watched sex and the city? Their entire existence revolves around Men. Men want woman as he pleases, but is concerned with other things as well, but womans whole existence is based on man. They would be nothing without men, no life, no interests, just bored with their own inane conversations. Their only use is sex.

I've said it before and I'll say it again, guys want girls for sex: girls want guys because they're interesting, have cool ideas, funny observations, etc. The reason marriage gets bad as you get older is the woman stops giving sex, which is the main reason the man was so attached to her, and then wonders why the man loses interest in her.

Son, you are way off. If you can´t appreciate girls you have a real problem.
It takes a real man to know how to talk to women. If you are unsuccessful at engaging them in conversation it is only because you´re not good enough at it.
I have a lot of interesting female friends and also only date smart women.
You, on the other hand, are a disrespectful little boy who´s insecurity is so great that you have to bash women to feel good about yourself.
Girls know a man wants to feel good about himself, so they are very good at making it appear that you are smarter than them. They do it to protect the male´s ego. They are way smarter than you give them credit.
A girl can act like a stupid teenager around you one day and deliver a speech at TEDTalk the next. Women are amazing at picking up insecurity. Of course you will think women are stupid. You think that because they act stupid around you. Why? Because they lower the conversation to YOUR level.
Be smart and take this advice: Educate yourself and grow up. No decent woman will ever date you unless you get it together.

Ok, so I'm a female and I find this article HILARIOUS! I find it more intriguing that this article is over 5 years old and yet it still applies to today's female AND is still getting such feedback. It's true. Girls are annoying, back-stabbing bitches...and before you judge...yes, I have female friends. Not all of them are my BFF (btw, that whole best friend forever and every other little term like that should die in a pit of flames. gah.) In fact, I have 2 best female friends...one is my sister (for obvious reasons she is my best friend) because we grew up and got over our damn sibling rivalry and my other is a friend from HS. Anyway, on to my point. Why do females bitch and complain and loathe other females they claim to be friends with? Simple. It's more fun to do so about someone you can find out the facts about instead of finding out from a 3rd party resource.

Don't take much offense, girls used to be very... respectable. Now they traded it for independence. But let's get to the first part.

This isn't trying to be funny or be offensive. It's not sexism or gender stereotyping. Girls used to cook meals for the family, stay a virgin for your future husband, do all the household chores, raise the kids. It's how it was in EVERY SINGLE CULTURE! Indigenous African tribes do it. Asians, British, Indians, etc etc etc everyone. Now, I'm not bitter about it. I'm just confused, asking why? Because the men was supposed to work and bring the food. We still do, although now every women should and does get a job and a yearly salary.

The main problem is... majority of the girls nowadays CAN'T COOK, mostly aren't virgins unless you have sex in middle school (which sucks), does less household chores because (and reasonably so) some things are too physically demanding for some women, and while most DO raise the kids; it's common for women to just leave em home.

At the same time, women expect men to be able to cook, to be amazing in bed, to be some prince charming that looks not unlike Tom Cruise or Brad Pitt (both are fuckin retards), demand intelligent men, get angry at men for sleeping with a chick even though it happened years before the two met, be a "white-collared" successful man bringing in an impressive salary.

Let me tell you... if a guy has every single trait here, he's not human. And women, such a picky and unfair judgment and assumption will drive a man crazy. Women are attracted to confidence, but even the most confident and seemingly immovable man can and will break. Men have plenty of problems too, neither of the two genders are perfect. But many of the "flaws" men hold aren't directed at the opposite gender while women's "flaws" are mostly directed towards men. If a man is busy with work; he won't cook (I know how to cook and I pretend not to unless it's really worth it... The man will be tired from work.), he won't be amazing in bed (let's face it, men's best chance to get amazing in bed is in high school and college when you screw around nonstop. Once you get a certain age, aka over 24+ and screw around like a man slut, all it shows is your lack of resilience and your weak-willed heart. AKA you are not tough, you are a pussy.), because of some busy work like international accounting you won't have time to exercise and you won't be Prince Charming. Demand intelligence along with all the other traits? That's VERY hypocritical and even borderline self-contradicting. Stop being picky. A guy you think might be gross-looking MAY be the best man for you who will treat you the way you want. Guys, girls that don't fit your perfect description aren't "fugos," they are potential soul mates even if you don't believe in it.

People have grown so blind and short-sighted that no wonder divorce rates are so high. People are looking for the wrong things in a relationship. People who you see have these "perfect married life together" usually have close to nothing in common. If you're someone who's looking for a serious relationship and you ask for looks and intelligence AND respected career, then you will probably end up in divorce or force yourself to living that married life unless you want to cheat. Looks, career, intelligence even are all materialistic. If they are materialistic, they get old and boring after a while. Why do I say intelligence is materialistic? You may disagree but I will tell you. Majority of the "knowledge" that you know that label you intelligent are barely useful. So you know a few numbers. Can you prove to me religions exist? And if not, can you prove to me they don't exist? Can you end wars? Can you cure diseases instead of feeding mankind prescribed poison pills that kill 5000 people a year? Can you read stars and tell time by where the sun is placed? Can you navigate all across America on foot? Can you make fire without modern equipment with nothing but two sticks?

I can't believe I'm a man and I'm saying these things...

I agree that it is very common for girls to stab each other in the back and gossip, but it should not be a generalization. I have a few close girl friends, and while we do get on each other's nerves every once in a while (and vent to each other about it), we have been close for years.

You said you want to ask why girls consider their friends to be their best friends: I consider them to be my close friends because they know who I am when my guard is completely down. They've loved me in my many awkward stages. They know my ups and my downs, and how to correct me when I am in the wrong.

They're the friends that I will go to when I go through a hard time, and we've been through numerous difficulties together (and the difficulties are often not boy-related).

I'm sorry that you, and your commentators, have only been around the type of girls that you talk about in this article. I know that those girls are numerous, but they are not the only ones around. I hope you find some who are different and who have genuine friendships with other girls.

heLL'l naw! black guys don't like those bitches. those bitches like black guys because there dicks are bigger than the white guys you know those hoe's been after black dick for years now you all acting like this some knew shit' well it aNIT . real talk as hard as it is to get some money out here in these street a black brother got to do what he got to do' even if that means lie to those hoe . when a sister will keep it 100% with your ass' white bicthes may be silent but the bitches got a mouth that will swallow half of lake mic''and a ass that can take a horses dick and steel have room for yours. don't act like those bitches are special because there not ! that goes for the white man sneaky asses as well there the reason why other countries hate people over here they tries to fuck very race over here inculding there own son's and daughters filty asses yall done fucked and fucked over every race on the planted. and you greedy sons of bitches' the miss use of black people /mexicans'jews/ ect: the tables will turn you may try to stopped but you can't. even the one you think is you number one source' they with you but they're not even with you figure that with you want to be smart ass but dum ass hell keep going you can't miss it. it's not design for you to miss it.

He yes, black men want white women like it's going out of fashion. Most white women I've asked have told me they wouldn't touch a black man. Something dirty and disgusting about them they say. Like they should be working in your garden and now you wanna have sex with them? No chance. Statistics show that the white woman is the most desired species on the planet. White men, white women, black men and black women in studies have shown that white women are the most desired. So fuck you. When your race has contributed something more than jazz to the world, then come talk about how you the shit nigga.

Late 20's white woman here, and damn right it's true. This is why I don't have female friends anymore - I like friends, not backstabbing whores.