"Hi."

"Oh… hi."

"It's been a while hasn't it?"

"Yeah. Yeah, I guess it has."

Cassette mixtape

"…"

"Derrick, not to be rude but I'm busy."

"Right, sorry, you'll never guess what happened…"

"…What, Derrick?" [sighs]

"I uh, I found the mixtape I made for you."

"What are you tal— Oh are you serious, Derrick!? That was four years ago!"

"I was just moving my bed and I heard something clatter against the hardwood and I got down on my knees and grabbed it from underneath and I was surprised because I thought you kept it…?"

"It must have fallen out of my purse or something."

"…"

[sighs audibly, loud enough for the people the next state over to hear]

"Derrick… Derrick?"

"What?"

"I'm sorry."

"For what? You dropped it. People drop things. No need to apologize. I've dropped stuff before, it happens."

"No, Derrick. I didn't… I didn't just drop it. I uh…"

"What?"

"I shoved it between the bed and the wall I'm sorry."

"You did what!?"

"I'm so sorry Derrick!" [audible weeping, rivals the amount of tears in the song ‘Story of a Girl']

"How— how could you? I had The Smiths on there! And and and Billy Idol and Steve Winwood! A classic mixtape if I ever heard one!"

"I know I know. I'm sure it was but Derrick, come on, you know we never got along when it came to music."

"Yeah, you just had to bring that up every time we were with your parents. As if he didn't already disprove of me!"

"I just wanted to make them angry…"

"And I just loved being in the monkey in the middle of that game. Why?"

"Because my father, he, he likes Elton John…"

"And you call him your dad!?

"He's a wonderful father, Derrick shut up. He always said Foreigner never told him what love was. And when Mariah Carey's cover came out he just lost it! That's why he left mom."

"Are you serious!? You can't be! That's ridiculous! He loved Marcia!"

[sounds of a nose being blown]

"Well I guess not huh?"

[deep pause] 

"Derrick. I wanna listen to it."

"You… you what?"

"I want to listen to it."

"Really!?"

"Yes, really. I do. Now more than ever. I'm glad you called actually."

"I'm glad I found it. I want to see you too."

"Let's meet up."

"Now?"

"Yeah now. Right now! Let's do it!"

"Okay, sure. Yeah absolutely."

"Yay! And Derrick…?"

"Yeah?"

"Bring that mixtape."

"The mixtape? No yeah I accidentally dropped it in the toilet as I was pulling down my pants. It doesn't work, it's all soggy. I can just—"

[dial tone]

"Hello?"

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