“If you don’t take care of your teeth, I’m going to take care of your grandma…with a knife.”

“Your teeth make my daughter cry…and then I hit her…and then I start crying. It’s a vicious cycle. Brush your teeth, faggot.”

“I fucking hate you MORE than I hate cavities…and I hate cavities alot, okay?”

“Iraq, terrorists, 9/11, your teeth. What do they have in common? Everything.”

“Knock knock.” (Who’s there?) “Get the fuck out of my office, you disgust me.”

“Sometimes I imagine my teeth have been replaced with your teeth, but then I wake up screaming and never go to sleep again because that’s the worst nightmare I’ve ever had.”