I'm a pretty simple guy sexually. I like a nice blow job—and sensuous, mostly slow-hand vaginal intercourse in a few positions. Yeah, you can smack my ass and/or face and tell me I'm a womanizing piece of shit and that's kind of cool, too. But beyond that, I'm your basic boring mother fucker in the rack. What can I say? And yesterday, I was reminded of that fact not once...but twice! Read More »

I was over at one of New York City's leading ho houses yesterday picking up their ad money, when one of the girls Read More »

How many times have I heard that a girl is "sick" and not working for the moment only to discover upon just a little interrogation that she is in fact not sick at all...but hurting from a rough customer? And the answer to that is...too many times! Read More »

Yep! We all gotta die some time! But Lord, please don’t take me while I’m busting a nut in a tranny ho house! This particular prayer was NOT answered for the unfortunate guy featured in this story noir. May the luckless guy’s tranny-chasing soul rest in peace! Read More »

Peculiar to Korean "massage" parlors (as in tubular massage parlors) is the custom of the owner employing a kitchen mommie to cook for and feed the girls. At American places, the flatbackers commute to work and live away from the premises. But with Koreans...it’s a 24/7 deal. Read More »

Police work is a profession that the great majority of us wouldn’t even consider for a million bucks a year—let alone the 28 grand it actually pays at the outset. Face off with criminals on a street corner with the rules of engagement clearly favoring the lawbreakers? Read More »

Jerry Springer is well known as ringmaster of the single most atrocious television show ever! Read More »

As Andy Warhol once said..."In the future...everybody will get their 15 minutes of fame." And he was right. YouTube has afforded everybody that opportunity. But not for me or some dozen or so of my cab-driving colleagues. Ours came from a different source. Read More »

Pardon the digression...an excellent cab story. And here's how you know it really IS a good story: It's not mine. It comes from a guy named Bernie who was one of the staff writers at the taxi paper where I wrote and sold ads in between shifts. Read More »

The endless stream of salacious stories about Charlie Sheen and his philandering ways is barely newsworthy at this point. I mean...everybody knows Charlie's a huge trick so who gives a shit? Read More »

The following was written for GALLERY MAGAZINE almost 15 years ago, just after I got my first job selling ads to "bodyworkers." It's a little upbeat as I wasn't quite as jaded then as I am now. But it works as a second introductory piece to give you a good idea of exactly what I do for a living. I might add that the publication switched editors in the middle of this project and it never came to print...nor did I ever get a kill fee from the boss (what a dick)! Regardless, I still like it as much as the day I wrote it. And I don't always feel that way about my efforts viewed in retrospect. Read More »

A few weeks ago, I met a new employee at The Village Voice who was openly curious about how somebody as educated as I ended up selling escort ads for a living. Not understanding the nature of the business, I guess she assumed that anybody in my line of work would speak with a "dese," "dems," and "doze" kind of accent. Read More »