Observational Humor

Comedy revolving around the people and situations we've all encountered at some point. Commentary, quips, opinions, rants, witticisms and editorials. Submit an article »

Michael Taylor's picture

Dear Black People, Can We Get a Pass to Say the N-Word for Bobby Shmurda's "Hot N***a"?

If you've been on the internet, Twitter, Vine, Instagram, or any type of social media this past summer, you've likely seen references to the smash single "Hot N***a" by Brooklyn-based rap artist Bobby Shmurda. It seems that this song became immensely popular almost overnight, thanks to the endless amount of Vines parodying it and its signature "Shmoney Dance." Read More »

Jerry Landry's picture

Why You Have a Hard-On for Fantasy Football

You get a sixer of beer and a four pack of Red Bull. You head down to the "war room," whether it's your buddy's place, or a "home office" you hastily created between your TV and a dying house plant. You peel the seal on the cheese dip and open a bag of chips. The warm smell of dormant potato air breezes by. Read More »

Jerry Landry's picture

Goodbye Old Friend: An Open Letter to Khaki Shorts

Dear friend,

Remember those casual parties we attended during the gentle days of summer? Those cookouts? The golf scrambles? Those ballgames? Remember how orderly you made me look last Fourth of July on that rooftop?

Grand times, friend. Read More »

Mike Bellinger's picture

I Put the Fear of God into My Dog

Betty is a small, fat, hairy dog that lives in the same house as me. There's your backstory.

Betty might walk into the kitchen, tail wagging, ears pricked, and I will greet her with enthusiasm, a smile, and that patronizing, high-pitched voice that people speak to dogs with. After I have greeted the hound, I then look away and pretend to concentrate on other things. Maybe I'm polishing a plate for some reason... it doesn't matter. It's all a ruse, with Betty now believing she is safe. Read More »

Matt Greenberg's picture

Anatomy of Men's Health Magazine

Ryan Phillippe on cover of Men's Health Magazine

Albert Einstein gave the definition of insanity as, "Doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results." If that's the case, I am Norman Bates getting ready to dress up like my mother. And not just because I enjoy doing it. Let me explain. Read More »

Jerry Landry's picture

BuzzFeed's Nostalgic Look Back at the 2010's, Twenty Years from Now

BuzzFeed "The Wire" quiz

Imagine it's 20 years from right now and (miraculously) you're reading a BuzzFeed article. Using completely baseless speculation, I will go full-on Harry Camping and predict the topic of the article you'll be reading on that warm day in 2034. Read More »

David Ayala's picture

The 18-Year-Old Virgin

James Van Der Beek is a virgin

Last year I turned 18. It was awesome. I can vote, join the military, and be charged as an adult for crimes! THE WORLD IS MY OYSTER! Still, even with all this, turning 18 reminded me that I've gone another year without losing my virginity. And quite frankly, I don't really give a shit. Read More »

James McDuff's picture

How Sexist are You? The Misogyny Test

Woman screaming like a bitch

If you're a modern man, chances are you hate women. Don't be afraid. It's okay. After all, they use their vaginas to gain an advantage in life—an advantage we have practically forced them to use because we continue to deny them economic equality. Which is strange, because women are our complete economy next to drugs and the military. It's like rain. Rain on your wedding day. Read More »

Alena Dillon's picture

Buzzfeed Taught Me Everything I Need to Know About Myself

Buzzfeed LOL OMG CUTE tags

We've learned so much in 2014. We learned that Russia has a city that sounds like the name of a blonde telepathic waitress and vampire lover. We learned that Patrick Stewart is gay, and then we learned he isn't. We learned that Ron and Hermione need marriage counseling, and we're heartbroken about it. We learned that Alec Baldwin has feelings too. Read More »

Eugene Slaven's picture

Black Men Can't Swim

When I finally managed to turn on the TV after several infuriating seconds of struggling to aim the remote in just the right spot, the channel was fortuitously tuned to the Bravo network. I think my wife or mistress watched something on Bravo, so hopefully that explains everything and there won't be any follow-up questions regarding Bravo or my mistress. Read More »

Quinlan Braiwick's picture

Stop Butchering the English Language

English is a living language—I accept this fact. There is a good reason we aren't discovering the Latin slang for "swag" or "YOLO": the language is dead, no longer spoken, and no longer changing. To be honest, based on those two words, I'd venture to guess that Latin is grateful to be dead. Read More »

Adam Trimmer's picture

Why is All Man-Themed Stuff Also Douche-Themed?

Douche guy drinking a PBR beer can

I don't know if this shows my age, but I find myself yelling at the TV a lot more than I used to. My latest outburst occurred after I saw a commercial for a haircut place called Lady Jane's. If you haven't seen the commercial or heard of the place, I'll give you a quick rundown: basically, Lady Jane's is a "man-themed" salon. Read More »

James McDuff's picture

8 Years a Slave: An Homage to England

Lemmy of the band Motörhead is a rock-God, an icon, his face-warts run Prada. Having played in Hawkwind, he was told by his doctor that he had done so many drugs that he could die if he didn't stop—he has understood the quanta of cosmos and the infinity of our interconnected molecules over ten times it is safe to say; his skin exudes love, tolerance, and face-warts, and yet even he has said that the only emotion in England is resentment. Read More »

Eric Simon's picture

If There's an Airport God, He'll Seat the Hot Girl Next to You on the Plane

Hot girl at the airport with a designer purse

You hear the most beautiful tone in the world: the text tone. It reads: "Hey man what's up? What are you doing Thursday??" Although this text appears to be completely harmless at first glance, it is not. It is a disguised weapon of mass destruction and it is headed straight for your nerves: your friend is going to ask you to take him to or from the airport. Read More »

James Danson's picture

Why You're a Terrible Person for Complaining About New NFL Safety Rules

NFL quarterback lying down after concussion

Football is one of the greatest examples of everything right and wrong with America. Fuck your sports, we have our own and soccer is stupid (and yes, we will call it soccer). And we hate the metric system; the horribly designed system we have in place is perfectly fine "But it's easier to convert using the metric system!" Stop bringing more math into the equation. Read More »

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