Observational Humor

Comedy revolving around the people and situations we've all encountered at some point. Commentary, quips, opinions, rants, witticisms and editorials. Submit an article »

Emily Rice's picture

A Very Professional Wine Critique

Hello. My name is Bob Davis. I am a professional wine taster/drinker.

When tasting a wine, I like to start three feet away from the wine glass and write down my first impressions from my eyes and beloved, all-telling nose. I analyze the artistic value of the glass. (Is it pretty? Is it shapely? Does it complement the wine?) I approach the wine at six-inch intervals, making sure to support or contradict my original jots. Read More »

William Johnson's picture

Sleep Apnea: The Art of Choking on Your Own Throat

I am a confirmed sufferer of sleep apnea. By "confirmed" I mean that my wife witnessed me glide between breaths of oxygen like a hang glider sailing from one refreshing mountain peak to another. Swoosh! Aah! Read More »

Bashar Salame's picture

The National Burger Ban

"I'll give you my cheeseburger, when you pry it from my cold [due to poor circulation] dead [likely from a heart attack] hands!" Read More »

Jillian Green DiGiacomo's picture

How Fat Monk Syndrome Changed My Life

I read an article the other day. No, I listened to an interview on the radio the other day. It was about a new study being done to understand why a certain sect of monks in Thailand, or maybe it was Taiwan—I don't think it was Tibet—are suffering from obesity at an alarming rate. Read More »

David Nelson's picture

In Defense of Mansplaining

In recent weeks, I've heard the term "mansplaining" used quite frequently, aggravating me to no end. What can one do when legitimately tasked with explaining an abstract concept to a woman of demonstrably inferior intelligence? Read More »

Jes Hewitt's picture

Guitar Shop Man Doesn't Want You to Buy a Guitar

When was the last time you went to buy a new car and came back convinced that not only do you not deserve one, but that you can't actually drive? Never, I'm guessing. Because dealerships don't tend to hire wannabe Schumachers to take you for a dozen circuits of the carpark to demonstrate the how well the suspension and braking systems works at 120mph. Read More »

Caleb Pyles's picture

I Already Regret Receiving This Blowjob

I sit there uncomfortably as she unzips me. Eager is good. I like eager. But not when the woman reminds you of a salivating dog waiting for Pavlov's bell. Yes, I understand my desire for pleasure is a raging river overpowering my entire body at this moment, but she just spit on my dick. What kind of animal spits on a man's dick?  Read More »

Alex von Sternberg's picture

I'm an Obnoxious White Hipster Who Never Really Liked Prince, Now What?

Folks, I have a serious problem. And it's in conjunction with the awful tragedy that is the death of the one, the only Prince Rogers Nelson, musician and celebrity personality extraordinaire. Everyone loved his music and frankly, loved the man himself. He was a musical titan among musical gods, many might say. Read More »

Steven Haas's picture

10 Cloverfield Lane Wikipedia Plot Summary Review

As I pulled up en.wikipedia.org/wiki/10_Cloverfield_Lane#Plot on my neighbor's unprotected internet, I prepared myself for what reviews of the film had described as a taut, confined psychological thrill ride that I had no intention of spending $10 on a ticket to see. Read More »

Audley Upton's picture

Worst Opening Lines from Bad Fiction Novels

"It was a dark and stormy night; the rain fell in torrents—except at occasional intervals, when it was checked by a violent gust of wind which swept up the streets (for it is in London that our scene lies), rattling along the housetops, and fiercely agitating the scanty flame of the lamps that struggled against the darkness." Read More »

David Brinn Silly's picture

Welcome to McDoctor, May I Take Your Symptoms?

The state of American healthcare is declining as it gets more and more "automated." It used to be that the doctor would come to your house and have coffee with your family after seeing you, maybe even stay for dinner. Then he'd get in his carriage, start up his horse, and head back to his office in Bedford Falls. Read More »

Anthony Greenlaw's picture

How the Internet Ruined Hot Dogs for Everyone

According to the internet, hot dogs are trying to kill everyone. The internet is good at this. The internet knows how to scare you. And if you're the parent of small children, like me, the internet is downright terrifying. Read More »

Lisa Woods's picture

My Favorite Moments of Family Holiday Chaos

Famarchy /fam-er-kee/ n. The (arguably amusing) utter chaos into which your offbeat loved ones inevitably descend within the first 12-18 hours of each ill-fated reunion. Variation of "anarchy."

Usage: The last 12 Woods family reunions ended in sheer famarchy, complete with awkward slip-ups and public-venue-silencing verbal brawls. Read More »

David Brinn Silly's picture

Why Third World Countries Have So Much Trash

The first thing I see whenever I see pictures of the third world is garbage. Lots and lots of garbage. What's up with that? No matter what country, Haiti, India, Vietnam, Ethiopia, Columbia, there's always tons of trash. What's going on? Read More »

Francis M.H's picture

So You've Stumbled Upon Points in Case

I recently stumbled upon Points in Case and, to say the least, the journey justified the destination and I couldn't be happier. You see, like most people on this site I'm a self-loathing, insecure moron who, and this goes without saying, doesn't come close to getting laid. Read More »

Syndicate content