Observational Humor

Comedy revolving around the people and situations we've all encountered at some point. Commentary, quips, opinions, rants, witticisms and editorials. Submit an article »

Matt Greenberg's picture

Anatomy of Men's Health Magazine

Ryan Phillippe on cover of Men's Health Magazine

Albert Einstein gave the definition of insanity as, "Doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results." If that's the case, I am Norman Bates getting ready to dress up like my mother. And not just because I enjoy doing it. Let me explain. Read More »

Jerry Landry's picture

BuzzFeed's Nostalgic Look Back at the 2010's, Twenty Years from Now

BuzzFeed "The Wire" quiz

Imagine it's 20 years from right now and (miraculously) you're reading a BuzzFeed article. Using completely baseless speculation, I will go full-on Harry Camping and predict the topic of the article you'll be reading on that warm day in 2034. Read More »

David Ayala's picture

The 18-Year-Old Virgin

James Van Der Beek is a virgin

Last year I turned 18. It was awesome. I can vote, join the military, and be charged as an adult for crimes! THE WORLD IS MY OYSTER! Still, even with all this, turning 18 reminded me that I've gone another year without losing my virginity. And quite frankly, I don't really give a shit. Read More »

James McDuff's picture

How Sexist are You? The Misogyny Test

Woman screaming like a bitch

If you're a modern man, chances are you hate women. Don't be afraid. It's okay. After all, they use their vaginas to gain an advantage in life—an advantage we have practically forced them to use because we continue to deny them economic equality. Which is strange, because women are our complete economy next to drugs and the military. It's like rain. Rain on your wedding day. Read More »

Alena Dillon's picture

Buzzfeed Taught Me Everything I Need to Know About Myself

Buzzfeed LOL OMG CUTE tags

We've learned so much in 2014. We learned that Russia has a city that sounds like the name of a blonde telepathic waitress and vampire lover. We learned that Patrick Stewart is gay, and then we learned he isn't. We learned that Ron and Hermione need marriage counseling, and we're heartbroken about it. We learned that Alec Baldwin has feelings too. Read More »

Eugene Slaven's picture

Black Men Can't Swim

When I finally managed to turn on the TV after several infuriating seconds of struggling to aim the remote in just the right spot, the channel was fortuitously tuned to the Bravo network. I think my wife or mistress watched something on Bravo, so hopefully that explains everything and there won't be any follow-up questions regarding Bravo or my mistress. Read More »

Quinlan Braiwick's picture

Stop Butchering the English Language

English is a living language—I accept this fact. There is a good reason we aren't discovering the Latin slang for "swag" or "YOLO": the language is dead, no longer spoken, and no longer changing. To be honest, based on those two words, I'd venture to guess that Latin is grateful to be dead. Read More »

Adam Trimmer's picture

Why is All Man-Themed Stuff Also Douche-Themed?

Douche guy drinking a PBR beer can

I don't know if this shows my age, but I find myself yelling at the TV a lot more than I used to. My latest outburst occurred after I saw a commercial for a haircut place called Lady Jane's. If you haven't seen the commercial or heard of the place, I'll give you a quick rundown: basically, Lady Jane's is a "man-themed" salon. Read More »

James McDuff's picture

8 Years a Slave: An Homage to England

Lemmy of the band Motörhead is a rock-God, an icon, his face-warts run Prada. Having played in Hawkwind, he was told by his doctor that he had done so many drugs that he could die if he didn't stop—he has understood the quanta of cosmos and the infinity of our interconnected molecules over ten times it is safe to say; his skin exudes love, tolerance, and face-warts, and yet even he has said that the only emotion in England is resentment. Read More »

Eric Simon's picture

If There's an Airport God, He'll Seat the Hot Girl Next to You on the Plane

Hot girl at the airport with a designer purse

You hear the most beautiful tone in the world: the text tone. It reads: "Hey man what's up? What are you doing Thursday??" Although this text appears to be completely harmless at first glance, it is not. It is a disguised weapon of mass destruction and it is headed straight for your nerves: your friend is going to ask you to take him to or from the airport. Read More »

James Danson's picture

Why You're a Terrible Person for Complaining About New NFL Safety Rules

NFL quarterback lying down after concussion

Football is one of the greatest examples of everything right and wrong with America. Fuck your sports, we have our own and soccer is stupid (and yes, we will call it soccer). And we hate the metric system; the horribly designed system we have in place is perfectly fine "But it's easier to convert using the metric system!" Stop bringing more math into the equation. Read More »

Matt Fernandez's picture

A Stoner's Translation to the Benefits of Vaporizing

Marijuana vaporizer with tube

As someone who is perpetually high, I get asked a lot why I prefer using a vaporizer as opposed to say, a joint or a bowl.

Translation: I'm high as fuck all the time, and people want to know why I vape instead of packing a bowl or rolling a j.

In this article I will give you a list of reasons why vaporizers are not only more practical, but also healthier for you. Read More »

Kat Ally's picture

The Asian and The Boyfriend

If you knew me, you'd also know that there are basically two people in my life: the Asian and the boyfriend. So if you knew me, you'd be an Asian, or a boyfriend, and I'd have to start out by apologizing for telling everyone who doesn't know me about all the reasons that this is not altogether a bad or irrelevant thing. Read More »

Quinlan Braiwick's picture

Fuck Technology

Gun shooting a laptop.

The guy who invented the cell phone was a fucking asshole. Oh, sure, when the concept of mobile communication was first dreamt up, it was a glorious utopia of total connectivity. The reality, however, is that technology has turned us into a society of downward-gazing, slack-jawed voyeurs. There's a good chance that as we continue to evolve with technology, our elbows will fuse. Read More »

Nick Hilbourn's picture

The Pooping You Didn't Know About in Classic Literature

Shakespeare wearing pink sunglasses

Hi, my name is Nick Hilbourn, professional English major. Anyone who watches any of the major TV networks (C-Span, BookTV, PBS) knows that literary criticism is an always-changing field of inquiry. In the past fifty years, all kinds of new fields of study have arisen, such as post-colonialism, queer theory, disability studies, and other useless fields of study. Read More »

Syndicate content