College Quotes
"I think Mel Gibson's rant was totally doctored, but I guess it could be real, who knows. Now, I don't give a fuck about Mel Gibson, but I do care about bros getting fucked by crazy bitches, because crazy bitches are everywhere and they're a threat to everyone!"
-A, on celebrity implications
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School:
University of South FloridaClass of:
2010At a Glance:
Well, hello PIC readers. It would appear that I am something of a rarity on this site, seeing as I have a vagina, so I'm hoping to add some female perspective here and maybe remove some of the mystery about what goes on in girls' heads. Keep in mind, I am hardly the average 20-something college girl, so whether or not what comes out of my head is representative of the same demographic is dubious; however, I'm a little hot, so regardless of anything else about me, you should read my articles.Bio:
I've lived everywhere...favorite place was Germany. I have a degree in Chemistry, but now there's no jobs, so I'm currently among the billions of destitute and unemployed. I like working out, playing soccer, sleeping, high heels, laser hair removal, the ocean, Dairy Queen georgia mud fudge blizzards, and german beer. I also enjoy lolcatz, failblog.com, photobombers, and standup comedy.- Articles
- Comments
The Craigslist Jobs Dump
By Jessica Lynn July 10, 2010
During my recent search for supplemental income, I turned to Craigslist—the most trusted, reliable source of employment opportunities available today, according to Fortune and Harvard Business Review. Read More »
Liars, and Tigers, and Whores, OH MY!
By Jessica Lynn March 15, 2010
There's been enough salacious commentary by sports journalists, newscasters, and TMZ on the Tiger debacle to last a decade. The scandal even made the incredibly competitive list of top-celebrity-crises-people-actually-give-a-shit-about in the year 2009, falling somewhere in between Michael Jackson's death and Kanye's hijacking of Taylor Swift's moment of glory. Read More »
Chick-Rizzle McLovin': The Importance of Going Down on Your Girl
By Jessica Lynn February 7, 2010
Valentine's Day is quickly approaching, which means Steak and Blow Job Day is not too far away either. Let me be the first to say that I love giving blowjobs, mostly because it just amazes me that something so simple can make a guy so completely happy. Read More »
How to Secretly Ruin Someone's Life
By Jessica Lynn December 26, 2009
Have you ever just wanted to slap a bitch or kick a douche in the balls? Well, the last thing you need on your permanent record is assault and battery, so I would highly advise against physical violence...unless, of course, you're absolutely certain you won't be identified. In the event you choose to go this route, there are some very affordable ski masks available online or at your local burglar and rapist outfitters. Read More »
Abstinence 'til Marriage: Christians are Fucked
By Jessica Lynn November 18, 2009
When I was 13 or 14, my mom took me on a weekend trip to go back-to-school shopping and have guided discussions about sexual purity from a man on a cassette tape that read from the Bible and explained things like how boys like girls with large round breasts and why we feel funny urges in our private parts. Read More »
Making Sense of Assholes with Hot Chicks
By Jessica Lynn October 12, 2009
I've heard the question asked too many times to count: "Why do the assholes always get hot chicks?" I definitely wouldn't consider myself the token hot chick, but I once walked into ProCopy wearing a bumming-around-in-sweatpants type outfit and caught one of the college age employees rating me an 8 to another employee. Read More »
I Killed a Rabbit*
By Jessica Lynn September 11, 2009
Settle down, PETA activists, it's not what you think. I didn't subject cute fluffy bunnies to any sort of cruelty, although I can't say the same for a pink jelly rabbit of the vibrating sort, whose unfortunate fare is the subject here. Read More »
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