Coren's Out

Nate's note: This is an excerpt from my upcoming snippet book. Sorry, I was too drunk to write something new.

Main: Yo man, you gotta buy homeboy a drink?
Me: Where you calling from? It's loud as hell.
Main: Calling from [the smoky pool hall], man. Coren got outta the joint today.
Me: I'll be right up.

Liz: Where are you going?
Me: I gotta go to [the smoky pool hall] and buy an old friend a drink.
Liz: The movie starts in twenty minutes. I thought we were going out.
Me: My friend Coren just got out of jail. I am obligated to go buy him a drink. You're welcome to come along.
Liz: I seriously need to reevaluate this relationship.

Me: Coren, how was the clink?
Coren: Not too bad, Nate. No hard labor. Moved some weights. Even read some books.
Me: Which ones?
Coren: Fuck, man. You got me. I didn't read no books.

Liz: So Coren, umm, how long were you in jail?
Coren: Damn, baby. Don't look so nervous. I promise I ain't the only black man you've ever seen that's been to jail.
Liz: It's just that I don't know how to ask that question.
Coren: I learned a long time ago, that when you don't know how to say something, it's usually wise not to say it.
Me: Better listen to him, Liz. He's been in jail. He's experienced.

Coren: You ever been up?
Me: Not for longer than twenty hours or so.
Coren: Well, if you'd been up, then you'd know that a man tends to change a little in prison.
Me: So, are you gay or born again?
Coren: Man, shut the fuck up. I'm saying I'm horny. You better get your girl outta here before I do something we'll both regret.
Me: Okay. Rain check on the drink, then. Good seeing you.

Main: Man, it's good to see him out again.
Me: How long you think 'till he goes back in?
Main: Two years parole. That means two years of keeping his nose cleaner than an Ethiopian's plate. I don't see it happening.
Me: Twenty says he goes back in the first six months.
Main: I'll take a piece of that.

Liz: So, do you have any other friends that have done time in prison?
Me: Yes.
Liz: How many?
Me: I couldn't tell you off hand. In Florida, probably three.
Liz: Are you a criminal?
Me: I work in an office.
Liz: You didn't answer the question.

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