Jeff Beck

School: Michigan State University
Class of: 2010
Hometown: East Lansing MI / Farmington CT

At a Glance:

I was grown in a laboratory and set loose on the world in 2002 in my current physical state. The scientists that grew me forgot to impart any procedural knowledge into my brain, which became awkwardly apparent during high school as I was severely incontinent for the first few months.

Bio:

I'm the coolest guy you've never met.

Comedy Articles:


I Wish I Was Funny
4 comments, 3.2 stars
I'm not funny or sexy, so I never have sex, nor make people laugh, let alone both simultaneously.

Candidate Comparison '08: McCain vs. Obama
24 comments, 3.2 stars
For Americans, the 2008 presidential election comes down to a choice between an inexperienced street thug and a defrosted Civil War veteran.

Conflict Cubic Zirconium
4 comments, 4.0 stars
For decades, Canadian cubic zirconium manufacturers have been using Canadian children for slave labor in CZ death labs. Help stop the atrocity.

Jeff Beck's Finals Coping Strategies
10 comments, 2.6 stars
A healthy dose of Adderall and a "fuck it" attitude can get you through final exams stress free. Or just cheat, whatevs.