Why did I agree to do this? I don't know the first thing about taking care of a kid. The reason quickly comes to me: this little guy's mom is smokin' hot and I thought it might get me laid. Single moms always have a soft spot in their pants for a man who is willing to watch their child while they run errands. Well, if I am going to make a good impression I should probably feed the little dude. Or at least water him. Read More »

I have spent the better part of the day trying on new and surprisingly uncomfortable outfits getting ready for tonight's company Christmas party. I must look my best if I am going to have any chance of dipping my wick into an overly drunk female tonight. After careful deliberation with my crotch I have chosen to wear my black and white velvet remake of the traditional James Bond tuxedo. Read More »

Most men are afraid to admit that they love to soak in a bubble bath but I'm sure as hell not. I love the feeling of bubbles popping over my man titties. "I take bubble baths world, so suck my freak." Soaking my goods in a hot steamy bath is the perfect place to review the entries for my free latte contest. Read More »

Washing my ride with a big bucket of soapy water and a hot pink sponge makes me feel like a man. To pleasure any on-looking females I make sure to grease up my entire body and wear clothing that displays my world class package to its best advantage. Read More »

The DVD case smells like shit. Actually now that I think about it, it smells of the store where I rented it. It smells of cheap cleaning supplies and musk. I stare intensely at the case trying to figure out exactly where I remember smelling the musky stench before. Sitting back in my chair gazing up at the ceiling, it hits me like a bolt of lightning. Read More »

As I sit with my eyes fixed on the door and my back placed firmly against the wall, I wait for the heat of the lamp to slowly cross under my balls. There is nothing more pleasurable in this world than feeling a warm heat lamp cross slowly under one's tackle. The sensation allows me to escape...if only for a second. Read More »

Beep! Beep! Beep! The brain piercing sound wakes me from my attempt at a wet dream. "Gosh darn alarm clock," I slur, drool pouring from my mouth. I roll out of my warm, comfy bed and onto the cold, hard floor. I like to wake up like a Navy SEAL, hard and fast. Don't ask why, it's just my way. Read More »

The six and a half hour wait in the emergency room reception area has been hell. The discomfort is almost too much to bear. "When the hell am I going to been seen," I mutter to myself. "The pain is too much." Read More »

"Yes Grandma. Yes Grandma. Okay Grandma, I won't forget. Yes Grandma, I know you haven't had a bowel movement in five days. Okay Grandma... I have to go. I, I, I, have a turkey in the oven. Yeah! A turkey in the oven and if I don't take it out it will burn. No Grandma. Yes Grandma. I know you love turkey, Grandma. Yes Grandma, I love you too. I won't forget, Bye... Bye... Bye." Read More »

Straddled and submitted, I opened my eager mouth to her but all I received was her hot lick of my left nipple. The lick was delivered with the form of commitment that would only be produced by a professional—a professional of love. The gentle gesture left me hard. Rock hard. Read More »