At the upper echelons of the corporate hierarchy are the senior managers, most of whom are of the age where they are applauded after they tell you how old they are. I look forward to counting "not being dead" as an achievement. If senior managers were furniture they would be antiques, which is why they cost so much. Read More »

Apart from words that have been contrapulated out of thin air, like contrapulated, it would appear that there are an awful lot of words that take on wholly different meanings in the confines of the office. These too have been includerized into the Jargonary. To that end and this beginning, headway into segway, here is my A-to-Z glossary. Read More »

Departments in big companies have an unspoken hierarchy. The hierarchy changes a bit in different companies but typically it's the same department at the bottom: Facilities. Facilities is the bedrock on which every other department poops. Read More »

Companies have the upper hand over job applicants because there are more people than there are positions to fill. Such are the laws of supply and demand that companies demand you supply them with hours of your time before they will let you anywhere near a job offer. Read More »

Never before has another man's flatulence so offended me. Last Friday lunchtime I was waiting for the elevator at work—a fancy glass elevator no less. I know what you're thinking: someone passed gas in the elevator and it was an unpleasant journey. In essence yes, that is what happened. Read More »

A lot of the training instructors that parasitize large corporations are like medical leeches: they do more harm than good when applied to healthy individuals.

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The easiest way to make people think you're smart is to talk about China. Discussing the global economy? ...and then there's China. Discussing Western philosophy? ...and then there's China. Do you think Alsatians taste better than Labradors? Read More »

It's easy to point fingers at the emails of others, index fingers or otherwise. However, I can hardly claim to have not spambushed others: let he who is without sin send the first email. Bearing this in mind, I've written a guide to sending emails. I appreciate that you emailing this post to others would not be without irony and encouraging that would only make me a hypocrite. Read More »

I'm used to being passed over for promotion by my peers and even my juniors but today took the biscuit (and then made it part of a packed lunch). Today was ridiculous enough to convince me of a higher being, who not only has a questionable sense of humor but who is spending the eighth day of creation poking me in the ribs. Read More »