Tuesday #1

NG: Thanks for meeting with me on such a short notice.

TR: Oh it's no problem. I'm only gonna die in like...thirty-five days. Thanks for writing me down on paper. Immortalizing me. No biggie.

NG: If it makes you feel any better, thirty-five days is a fucking perfect timeline for me.

TR: Perfect? What? Why? Read More »

Ali Wisch is a cute girl. Right? I mean, I've never met the bitch in person but look at that picture: cute as a button on a bug's rug. Now, I know what you're thinking and this is not some weird e-verbal gangbang for Ali's self-image. You should've been able to tell from the onset that this isn't me kissing her ass—or at least from the usage of the word, "bitch." (Which I use generally, in any case, when talking about a woman I'll never meet)—this is the truth. Read More »

Your favorite Lutheran show hits PIC with special guests Naughty By Nature and Nappy Roots. Enjoy! Read More »

Yep, I've been away for awhile. I told Court that I'll be vacationing until I get all of this Grad School bullshit over with. But, I'm still an attention whore. I've worked on a little comedy story for your enjoyment. Let me know what you think. Read More »

Well kids, if you're wondering what I've been up to, here's it. It's kinda long, but I'm really proud of it.

Lemme know what ya think. Read More »

Alright kids. This is the first movie I've made in about a year. I had a lot of free time. Either way, sound is crucial for this...unless you really like shapes...so please, turn up your speakers or plug in your earphones. This has been recorded at a very...unfortunate...volume.

Also, it's very, very dry humor. If you don't like that, then you won't like this. Uh-huh. Read More »

There are two things you're doing right now, reader. Aside from stroking your clit...Either, one, you have read the title and asked aloud: Who the FUCK is Leeroy Jenkins and why should I give a FLYING SHIT ABOUT HIM?

(Careful now, your mother is in the next room!)  Read More »

If you're reading this, you're probably not a lesbian. Actually, nix that. If you're reading this, you're probably a lesbian. Because after I'm done writing this, I'm posting links to it all over your dykeish websites (watch out ellen.com!). Read More »

This is my dog.

His name is Robert Plant.

...

Believe me?

...

If you don't comment, I'll take his rock-muzzle off..... Read More »

I'm going to go out on a limb and figure most of you don't know ZZ Top, given the fact that most of you rather click AC/DC Ringtone Ads than comment on my blog (fuck you, seriously). Read More »

This is the first in a long, long series of articles explaining the true meaning behind awesome rock anthems' lyrics, inspirations and otherwise. Read More »

This story was edited. Now it's much better. You'll see it up on Tuesday in the columns section.

YEAH! 

In the last hour, I was given the challenge by a writing buddy of mine to write three stories. Each was supposed to be 200 words, 400 words and 600 words exactly. They are actually 250 words, 400 words and 650 words exactly (less the title, of fucking course). If you don't like that, you can lick my literary nuts. Read More »

These are my favorite quotes...someday I hope to be just as literary, snotty and bitchy as they are remembered...combined.

Here we go... Read More »

At our shared mirror, my roommate lathered his face with a bar of white, overly-fragrant soap in the purplish dark of early morning. I saw the gunk sliming through his hands and then falling into our sink. I closed my eyes then looked to him again. He was sharpening our public straight-blade on a leather strop, then running it over his neck. Read More »