Halloween Drunk Comment

"Her friends should tell her to have some decency." -- James

Another Halloween has come and gone. Luckily, I survived. But here's my second-day review of Halloween. Read More »

Halloween Drunk Comment

"My eyes are tired from looking all over the room." -- Bossman

I'm back to reviewing Halloween costumes and experiences. Since today is actual Halloween, I'll make a sequel in a day or so. Read More »

CANTON, OH - The historical committee to find new Hall Of Fame players elected Heisman Trophy-winning University of Florida quarterback Tim Tebow into the sacred building of football stars. Even though Tebow hasn't taken a snap with a National Football League team as a professional player, the committee felt they had "a pretty good hunch" about Tebow. Read More »

Yankees fans get a bad rap. A few rotten potatoes can make fans of the Big Apple's premier team look like total douchebags. And this isn't directed at you, the fine Bronx Bomber fans of the world. I don't even hate to admit it anymore, but your team is one of the best sports franchises in history of professional athletics. Read More »

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I take care of two bitches: one black and one yellow. That's right, I don't discriminate. Both of them are pretty stupid, but I keep these dumb bitches for companionship, I don't want them doing my taxes—their only jobs are to love me and be my bitch. Read More »

The damn hippies keep telling us to quit warming the global, or something. I don't know what they're talking about. But screw them.

But I keep seeing this commercial about why we should save the polar bears. But fuck polar bears. They're assholes.

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I know you were thinking, "Oh, that's just another short-haired bigger girl with no tits. But God Damn! Does she have an ass on her!" You wondered, maybe she could bend over next to your office chair, and your could use that booty as your work bench. Read More »

I moved to New York City for the sole purpose of interning at Marvel Comics, which I did in the spring of 2001. It's by far the best job I've ever had, even though they paid me in free comics—which are really hard to use as rent money.

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True story: a moving company once offered me a full-ride scholarship to trucker school. Instead I attended NYU and earned an English degree. And if you've ever been an English major, you know that truckers make a much better living than you.

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Last August 15th was pretty spooky for me. The night before my best friends' wedding, two friends and I decided to take a late-night swim at Lake Ottertail in beautiful Minnesota. I saw a boat dock and decided to take a dive into the water. As a competitive swimmer, I'd done thousands of shallow dives, unfortunately, this lake was very shallow. Read More »

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Sure I read "Twilight," but I don't have to defend my masculinity to you people. I bench press, gamble, start stuff on fire and thoroughly enjoy the carnal pleasures of many of my offering women friends. Read More »