Ryan DeCurtidor


Michigan State University

Class of



Baltimore, MD

At a Glance

Ryan DeCurtidor is a rippling wad of muscles built to write comedy. His abs were the inspiration for Michaelangelo's "Larry David," and he once punched a hole in the wall because he couldn't think of a punchline. And also because of the steroids.


Ryan DeCurtidor has written three different versions of this biography, and is wondering if it's not too late to come up with a pseudonym.

Comedy Articles

The Tax Man Cometh
With your know-how of American tax code, you end up saving the Joneses seventeen dollars and a mandatory Dane Cook concert. If only that was reward enough.
Feb 10, 2013

The Trial of Love
I am only the ALLEGED naked man found at the duck pond feeding the ducks bagels. Judge, YOUR HONOR, what I'm about to tell you is my side of the story.
Jun 6, 2012

Letter to My Littering Neighbor
My initial shock and disbelief quickly dissolved into anger. I knew what I was supposed to do—not litter—but where was the commercial that taught you how to deal with litterers?
Feb 28, 2012

The All-American Road Trip
Your spidey-sense is a tingling, and that means adventure. Coincidentally, the tingling sensation is greatest where the black widow bit you five minutes ago.
Feb 5, 2012

As Your Renewable Energy Czar, I Say We Build the World's Largest Windmill
As your Drain Commissioner, I believe what this city needs more than adequately functioning drains, or streets free of the raw sewage presently covering them, is a 2000-foot tall windmill.
Jan 20, 2012