College Quotes
"Dating is the most useless and rotten attempt by completely worthless individuals to establish a faulty image for somebody they wish to impress in a desperate, neurotic need for attention. Unfortunately, these phony people actually impress each other and end up producing ugly, noisy, gargoyle-like children. The genetic deformities inherent in the hideous smiles of their children only indicate the fact that they, like their parents, have NO FUTURES."
-Wesley, on the usefulness of dating
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School: University of Florida
Class of: 1999
At a Glance:
Rob Bloom is a Comedy Writer, Screenwriter, and connoisseur of all things deli. He has written for the Cartoon Network, McSweeney's, CRACKED, Fresh Yarn, Monkey Bicycle, Funny Times, National Public Radio, American Public Media and the Travel Channel, among others. Find out everything you want to know at RobBloom.comBio:
In 2007, Rob won Screenvision's "Short Script-Big Screen" Competition and had his original screenplay, "Suburban Bravery," made into a short film. The film was produced by the critically acclaimed Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre and shown as pre-feature entertainment on movie screens nationwide.Rob is also the writer of a regular humor column, which has been praised by the Erma Bombeck Writing Institute as well as by his parents who proudly display it on their refrigerator with magnets shaped like fruit. He’s currently in search of the perfect black and white cookie.
Comedy Articles:
Morning Announcements at the High School of Your Nightmares3 comments, 4.1 stars
P.E. gets worse, lunch still sucks, and there's going to be a pop quiz in 2 minutes. I'm your new principal, have a great day, kids!
Head of a Porn Studio Critiques Young Screenwriter14 comments, 3.9 stars
The head of a porn studio gives notes to a young screenwriter on his screenplay submission to Money Shot Studios.
