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Publication: Reductress

Established in 2013, Reductress is a daily satire news publication taking on the outdated perspectives and condescending tone of popular women’s media. Below are recently added links by PIC members to their comedy writing on Reductress.

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Woman Too Hungry to Care About Whose Hair That Was

by Lauren Grimaldi and Editor | January 24, 2024 | Reductress

‘The Snow Looks So Pretty,’ Says Woman Who Will Slip and Fall in It Tomorrow

by Lauren Grimaldi and Editor | January 8, 2024 | Reductress

Woman Scared to Take Meds in Case It Makes Her Normal

by Lauren Grimaldi | January 2, 2024 | Reductress

Woman’s New Year’s Resolution Is to Remember What Year It Is by March

by Lauren Grimaldi | December 21, 2023 | Reductress

Woman Spends Entire Car Ride Wondering If Person Behind Her Thinks She’s a Good Driver

by Lauren Grimaldi | December 19, 2023 | Reductress

Woman Makes Pact That if She Isn’t Married by 40 to Count Her Blessings

by Lauren Grimaldi | December 6, 2023 | Reductress

How to Prepare to Go Ice Skating by Calling the Paramedics in Advance

by Lauren Grimaldi | November 28, 2023 | Reductress

Aw! This Woman Finally Found a Man Who Chooses Her

by Lauren Grimaldi | November 27, 2023 | Reductress

How to Enjoy ‘The Golden Bachelor’ Without Thinking About the Political Opinions of All the Contestants

by Lauren Grimaldi | October 16, 2023 | Reductress

Hybrid Work Model? This Woman Only Cries at Her Job on Wednesdays

by Lauren Grimaldi | October 12, 2023 | Reductress

Smart! This Woman Confessed to a Crime on Threads so No One Ever Saw It

by Lauren Grimaldi | October 11, 2023 | Reductress

Man Only Good at Expressing Himself When Outraged

by Lauren Grimaldi | September 20, 2023 | Reductress

Completely Sober Woman Somehow Still Not Okay to Drive

by Lauren Grimaldi | September 11, 2023 | Reductress

Brave! This Woman Is Still in the Right Lane Even Though She Has to Turn Left in Ten Miles

by Lauren Grimaldi | August 28, 2023 | Reductress

‘I Should Go to Grad School,’ Says Woman Whose Hair Is on Fire

by Lauren Grimaldi | August 24, 2023 | Reductress

Ben Platt Ridicules Reporter for Not Understanding Why He’s Daddy’s Special Little Guy

by Lauren Grimaldi | July 24, 2023 | Reductress

Olivia Rodrigo’s New Album to Be Highlight of 32-Year-Old’s Summer

by Lauren Grimaldi | July 11, 2023 | Reductress

Spooky! Woman Who Never Went to Class Still Has Dreams About Forgetting to Go to Class

by Lauren Grimaldi and Editor | April 25, 2023 | Reductress

How to Open Up to Someone Even Though They Aren’t Drew Barrymore

by Lauren Grimaldi and Editor | May 4, 2023 | Reductress

How to Have It All Even Though That Sounds Like a Lot

by Lauren Grimaldi and Editor | May 17, 2023 | Reductress

Shocking! This Woman’s Stomach Hurts Even Though She Only Ate Hot Cheetos Today

by Lauren Grimaldi | May 12, 2023 | Reductress

‘Haha, Yeah!’ Says Woman Unknowingly Agreeing to the Most Insane Conspiracy Theory She’s Ever Heard

by Lauren Grimaldi | May 16, 2023 | Reductress

Sad! Nation Does More to Protect Children From TikTok Than Guns

by Lauren Grimaldi | April 3, 2023 | Reductress

Wow! This Woman’s Cramps Got So Bad Her Boyfriend Said ‘Aw, That Sucks’

by Lauren Grimaldi | April 3, 2023 | Reductress

QUIZ: Is a New Hemorrhoid Popping Up or Did Ms. Frizzle Crash Into Your Ass Again?

by Lauren Grimaldi and Editor | February 27, 2023 | Reductress

Goals! This Woman Has Been Living With COVID for Years and Now They’re Finally Getting Married

by Lauren Grimaldi and Editor | February 13, 2023 | Reductress

Nepo Baby? This Woman Was Only Born Because Her Parents Were Alive First

by Lauren Grimaldi | January 30, 2023 | Reductress

How to Get Your Doctor to Believe You by Dying in Front of Them

by Lauren Grimaldi | January 26, 2023 | Reductress

How to Celebrate the Anniversary of January 6 by Risking It All for a Man Who Doesn’t Care About You

by Lauren Grimaldi | January 5, 2023 | Reductress

Soft Launch? Friend Suddenly Posting About Her Missing Boyfriend

by Lauren Grimaldi and Editor | January 2, 2023 | Reductress

How to Go to the Gym Even Though Men Will Be There

by Lauren Grimaldi and Editor | November 22, 2022 | Reductress

How to Drive at Night Even Though You Can’t See Shit

by Lauren Grimaldi and Editor | November 9, 2022 | Reductress

How to Read a Book Even Though It’s Not a Screen

by Lauren Grimaldi and Editor | October 31, 2022 | Reductress

Tragic! This Woman Died Trying to Out Pizza the Hut

by Lauren Grimaldi | October 27, 2022 | Reductress

Wow! This Woman’s Five Year Plan Is to Think About It Again in Five Years

by Lauren Grimaldi | October 25, 2022 | Reductress

Fuck Yes! Duck Gently Passing Over Wave

by Abe Messing | October 27, 2022 | Reductress

How to Stop Praying God Kills You After Experiencing the Slightest Inconvenience

by Abe Messing | October 29, 2022 | Reductress

QUIZ: Do You Love Bobbing for Apples or Just Throwing Your Ass in the Air?

by Abe Messing and Reductress editors | September 19, 2022 | Reductress

‘I’m A Nice Guy!’ Screams Man

by Lauren Grimaldi | September 15, 2022 | Reductress

Kind of Sad? Friend Who’s an Engineer Still Uses Stuff She Learned in Math Class

by Lauren Grimaldi and Editor | September 8, 2022 | Reductress

Study Finds There Just Aren’t Enough Places to Buy Soft Pretzels

by Lauren Grimaldi | September 6, 2022 | Reductress

REPORT: The Hospital Makes You Take the Baby Home and Then You Have to Take Care of It

by Lauren Grimaldi | September 6, 2022 | Reductress

Extremely Fun: This Woman Yells ‘See Yuh!’ Out Loud Before Swiping Left

by Abe Messing | September 6, 2022 | Reductress

CDC Announces People With COVID Can Cough on Person of Their Choosing

by Lauren Grimaldi | August 15, 2022 | Reductress

Wow! This Middle Aged Man Fell In Love With His Girlfriend on the Exact Day She Turned 18 and Not a Minute Earlier

by Lauren Grimaldi | August 4, 2022 | Reductress

Goals! This Woman Has a Master’s Degree She Often Forgets About

by Lauren Grimaldi | July 27, 2022 | Reductress

Red Flag? Nothing Seems to Be Wrong With This Man

by Lauren Grimaldi | July 21, 2022 | Reductress

Woman Loves Driving Until She Has to Park, Back Up, or Switch Lanes

by Lauren Grimaldi and Editor | July 11, 2022 | Reductress

I LIVED IT: The Government Took Away My Rights and Still Expected Me to Come to Its Birthday Party

by Lauren Grimaldi and Editor | June 30, 2022 | Reductress

Woman’s Life Flashes Before Her Eyes as She Glimpses ‘Shake Well’ on Drink Already Entering Her Mouth

by Abe Messing | June 29, 2022 | Reductress

Man Who Tied Cherry Stem in a Knot With Hands Must Be Great at Fingering

by Abe Messing | June 27, 2022 | Reductress

Smart! Woman Saved Thousands on Gas By Buying This Car

by Lauren Grimaldi | June 21, 2022 | Reductress

Weird! Friend Keeps Reading a Lot of Books as if She’s Trying to Win a Pizza Party or Something

by Lauren Grimaldi and Editor | June 14, 2022 | Reductress

Sad! 18-Year-Old Woman Still Thinks She Can Be the Dancing Queen

by Lauren Grimaldi | June 9, 2022 | Reductress

REPORT: Guy in Band You’re Watching Is Kind of Cute

by Lauren Grimaldi | June 6, 2022 | Reductress

Woman’s Depressive Episode Picked Up for a Full Season

by Lauren Grimaldi and Editor | June 6, 2022 | Reductress

There’s No Way ‘Love Is Blind’ Works—but Should I Apply Just to Make Sure?

by Lauren Grimaldi and Editor | February 23, 2022 | Reductress

I LIVED IT: I Agreed With the Teenager’s Parents in a Coming of Age Movie

by Lauren Grimaldi and Editor | May 24, 2022 | Reductress

Healthy Work Environment Still Kind of Annoying to Be Honest

by Lauren Grimaldi and Editor | April 28, 2022 | Reductress

I LIVED IT: No One Said They Liked My Dress So I Couldn’t Tell Them It Has Pockets

by Lauren Grimaldi and Editor | April 27, 2022 | Reductress

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