ALWAYS recycle dead batteries. NEVER put them in the garbage. My brother WILL go through your trash and he WILL throw them at me if he finds them!!
I’ve never had a Pap smear. The closest I want to come to getting one is going to the doctor, and having him pull out some knives, cream cheese, and bagels—a pap schmear. Sounds so much better.
Maeve, age 10: kale is a food I feed my guinea pig. It costs $1 for a huge bag. My guinea pig loves it, but it is all she knows.
Maeve, age 23: kale is a food I feed myself. It costs $15 for a tiny bowl. I love it, but it is all I know.
Has 2020 been wearing its Halloween costume all year?
It's fitting that I never learned how to correctly spell “self-sabatogue.”
Ever notice how many dinosaur names sound alike? Who came up with all of them anyway, Thesaurus?