Masturbation freestyle. Off the head. So to speak. Why? Because I can. I'm going to try to keep typing as long as I can.

Don't ask me what I'm doing, c'mon y'all know
Whacking my dick-nicknamed him Tony Soprano
I do it like clockwork, 365 an ano
I do it in the bedroom, kitchen foyer and bano
Just me and Mini-me, going mano-a-mano
that means i'm using both hands, understand?
Already fired up the Cinemax On Demand
Something called Red Shoe Diary
I'll pretend the actresses admire me
What am I saying, I don't have to delude myself
Because when I jerk off I exude myself
On magazines, tapes, even a poorly placed kitty cat
You want a pussy joke? Uh, good luck with that
I know God's a guy, so this ain't a sin
Still, I should finish up before mom comes in!

Yeah, I'm still beating off
I got stamina
C'mere babe, let me put some man in ya
No rough abuses, just salty juices
I wanna beat it up
Give your insides bruises
This ain't the bay, you don't have to strung out on yay
When have sex
You just get high on X
What's the point, I can't touch your boobie
Because I'm on my bed
And you're in that movie
Still if I could-oh the things I'd do
Just touch me a little, I swear I'll grow on you
Don't be hockey girl, be a good sport
Let's have some pun in here
(You're welcome Court)
You don't have to be Roxy, or even be foxy
Just come through that screen
I'll knock off your socksies

I like to jerk
You can do it at work
Won't give you crabs, not even a tick
And everybody can get some, even Nick!
You didn't think, even without audio
That I could talk masturbation, without Gaudio?
For him, a good man is not a thing to waste
Men stay in his mouth
like an aftertaste
I'm off the subject
We were talking wangs
And Count Boobula, complete with fangs
OK, I'm done now, this isn't the forum
For this sort of thing
I've no decorum.

I refuse to go back and edit any of this. If you find an error, stick it under your hat.

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