An Internal Monologue as I Navigate My Office’s Open Floorplan
70 ft: Screw it, I’m just going to wave. Social norms be damned! 65 ft: Shit, he’s definitely not looking at me.
70 ft: Screw it, I’m just going to wave. Social norms be damned! 65 ft: Shit, he’s definitely not looking at me.
That’s right, I’d be afraid if I were you too. Afraid of having my actions held up to intellectually rigorous ethical scrutiny!
An avid motorcycle rider, Ben loved the freedom of the road. And before you jump to conclusions, no, that’s not how he died.
★★ I’ve never seen a movie with so much dancing that’s not a musical. I’m so glad Six Flags isn’t a real place.
That’s great, Sylvia. I’ll just make a note of that for my records. Do you mind if I change the subject while we wait for our server to arrive?
Thanks to the PTA and a few passionate teachers, an after-school grammar club is formed so kids like me have a safe place to diagram sentences.
I know, it’s such a cliché: “This year, no more eating children! Not even the wicked ones!” But it makes sense.
’m going to run, jump, and climb over anything that stands between me and other people thinking good thoughts about me.
I don't want to be bad, but I will if I have to. Wait, scratch that. I actually LOVE being bad. And guess what? To me? Being bad feels GOOD.
Be More Interesting Than Whatever Is On Their Screens: You do have one huge advantage over their screens: a direct and genetic link to their vanity.
What exciting interpretations will these visionaries have for my scoliosis, receding hairline, and fallen arches?
We figured you just weren’t hungry or something, considering how often you used to snack on us.