<p>Lately, man as we know it has become, let's face it, sappy and lady-like. <br /> <br /> Unacceptable. <br /> <br /> So I'm flipping back to more manly things for a while. It's what I was born to do.<br />
Tag: Satire and Parody
At CPN, we wish to broadcast the death penalty on television, not to deter crime (it's been proven that the death penalty has almost no effect on crime rates), but to provide the highest quality entertainment for our viewers. Now is your chance to get in
Let's face it: ocean water tastes like shit. But what if it didn't? What if we could figure out a way to make it a refreshing cocktail? That's right, we must fight the rising sea levels by drinking them.
With a slumping economy, neighborhood watch committees are turning to private contractors for surveillance, and what better way than to license helicopter services to keep criminals on the run?
In this eavesdrop, the cell phone conversation between a supermodel and an astrophysicist is snatched from the air. Let's listen in as the two deal with each other's physical and mental shortcomings.
Even if you're like, totally fucked up and in a wheelchair, you can still garden, okay? Millions of disabled people assume they can't, though.
Oh my God! Thank you so much for this award. First of all, I'd like to thank Jesus for this award. He's the reason I have this award. If it wasn't for Jesus I'd still be serving baby back ribs at Hooters.
This is the greatest cereal I've ever eaten. It's crunchy yet smooth; bitter yet sweet. This cereal is like the Civil Rights movement poured into a bowl.
What if unicorns ran the world? Could such a wondrous time exist? Would they allow regular horses to stay? I'm sure you ask yourself this every day. I know I do.
All my years of watching porn and Animal Planet finally paid off as I combined these ideas into one magical symphony of sex. And I bet you want details about how I pulled this shit off 'cause like me, you are a bunch of sick fucks.
We at Starbucks take coffee very seriously, dating it for six months before we even consider making a breast move. If you would not sell your own mother into white slavery for a good espresso, please just go apply at Tully’s.
I really, really feel bad about the fact that I destroyed your reproductive system like that. I wish I could make it up to you. You could take my child, if you promise to assume full legal responsibility for it. And feed it.