I’m the Lean Cuisine That’s Been in Your Freezer for 3 Months
I won’t shame you, it’s not my place. No, my place is to be an evolutionary step above paper. My role is to technically be food.
I won’t shame you, it’s not my place. No, my place is to be an evolutionary step above paper. My role is to technically be food.
Shaggy interrupts Jesus to say that he is just like him: he doesn’t have bones, but rather, Scooby Snacks shaped like bones.
As your Venus begins to fade you may be feeling like you're losing control of your life. A man can really help with that.
Project Runaway Train: Designers are placed on trains careening toward the edge of a cliff at groundbreaking speed.
Surgical Glove Popcorn Hand: Although this craft is usually popular around Halloween, time has no meaning right now, making it actually timely.
I was not leaving my house, both to avoid getting infected with COVID-19 and to avoid running into Joey “Iron Fists” Cachatolli.
We were dance partners for five years? And then you ditched me. But hey, no hard feelings. I’m not jealous. Not one tiny bit.
Q: I have no symptoms, but yesterday I had a sexy dream about my flatmate and now I feel... awkward? A: Fly! Fly! Thy death wound is upon thee!
“Live, Laugh, Love” in Cursive: Are you a human or the wall clock I bought from the Home Goods clearance section?
Schrödinger’s Everything: If you refuse to look at your bank balance, you are simultaneously broke and rich.
She laughed, but do you think maybe deep inside she thought you were an idiot? Nah... Probably not. Anyway, no reason to hash it out at 2:32 AM!
Zoinks! Accuweather.com doesn’t want to rain on your parade, but we need that juicy, juicy marketing money to keep powering these weather puns.