Featured | Page 7 | Points in Case

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The main characters will be named Tad, Morglee, Suppa, and Caldwater. They are all incredibly hot but still unpleasant to look at.

I said similar color blocks. No, SIMILAR color! What the hell, are you stupid or something?

We regret to inform you we won't be able to offer you a position at this time. We'll always wonder what could have been.

Our menu? Menu…. Oh, the "menu"! Yes, sorry, didn’t follow what you meant at first. We can’t remember the last time someone actually asked for that.

A bank teller overeager to waive overdraft fees on my debit card in an attempt to maintain our relationship.

I do take issue with whoever claimed the domain liveauctionfor115belleview.net and started an all-out bidding war for my family’s home.

If you pat me on the back, I’d prefer to feel like it’s because I earned it.

Every Tuesday during that weird evening time slot where nobody you call picks up we’ve been coming here to air out our grievances away from you.

When I was four, I knew I was in my prime. Solidly potty trained, only three teeth missing, able to draw both unicorns and school buses.

Kevin’s voice sounds like Dad’s. Except it cracks walls and sets off car alarms, and also he accidentally stepped on a school bus.

While UBO might not be part of the “Ivy League,” it is part of something called the “Platinum Preferred Double Points Club."

Day 2,121: In my book, only cowards change their email when a better and more convenient option becomes available.