Suggestions from the Suggestion Box at My Teppanyaki Restaurant Where I Make All the Food with My Bare Hands
Posting signage around the restaurant that says, “We Pinky Promise We Washed Our Hands Before Returning To Work,” is not comforting.
Posting signage around the restaurant that says, “We Pinky Promise We Washed Our Hands Before Returning To Work,” is not comforting.
Unfortunately, I do have to make a living. As it turns out, the only subject I’m really educated on—beyond punching things—is a dying industry.
I’ve made a few enemies along the way, as evidenced by the group chat telling me not to bring my “musty ass around game night anymore.”
I really believed that a gang of scrappy, oddball teenage underdogs like us could pull this off against all odds.
By the time I’m through with your tokens, they will be funged beyond recognition. I disrupt the blockchain. I drink your milkshake. I funge your tokens.
WHAT WE’RE LOOKIN’ FOR… YOU: - Enjoy tippin’ over hot dog carts for craps n’ giggles - Like puttin’ pennies on train tracks and watching ‘em smoosh
Submissions open at 3 AM on nights when our editor-in-chief looks at the night sky and feels a particular shade of melancholy.
You are entropy incarnate. Which is captured much more accurately by this clip of a frog with long, sexy lady legs that burps up the word "Strike."
So, I mean, you wouldn’t ask me to go in there and risk an encounter with ghosts, would you? I could just give you a free upgrade to large.
How could two islands of near-identical climate, geology, and elevation give rise to two such distinct, yet delicious creatures? Science rocks.
Beethoven, Mozart, the one who wrote the song that plays during "Ocean’s 11" when they’re looking at the fountains. Yup, all those guys. And probably more.
How many times have we seen the same old Frankenstein’s monster? So get excited, because THIS Monster stabs.